Sittin’ Back with a Buddha Sack
March 25, 2011
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Oswalt clearly gettin' a wiff of that Doobie
Phillies pitching coach Rich Dubee is certainly going to be emanating that chillin-no-violence vibe from the dugout this season.
With an arsenal of pure potency lacing his pitching stash, he can finally focus on the more nuanced aspects of that long and arduous journey to the postseason, like rollin’ up phat burners worthy of his name.
While seedy slobs carelessly remark that Dubee has the easiest job in baseball, these obnoxious nubes fail to appreciate the Zen-like countenance necessary to preserve the solidarity of such a heady crew.
A Zen-like countenance that usually wafts from the green fields of California, pioneered by the likes of Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and made famous by the Zen-master himself: Phil Jackson – you’re high if you think Jackson isn’t…all the time.
The smooth and even-keeled burn of a good Dubee is difficult to attain without the necessary experience and technique, and it is all too often taken for granted.
It’s only when a burner boats that one truly notices the difference between a clean roll—what I like to call a J-Roll—and some sort of hack-job imitation that is so often pawned off on the public as the real thing. But this aggression will not stand—neither on Dubee’s bench nor in his bullpen—and the Philly crowd is often extremely fastidious when it comes to gettin’ high.
You can be sure that Rich Doobie will be brandishing his cannabis card at every turn this season, highlighting Halladay’s Sour Diesel (I hear it was the Doc himself that hooked Dubee up with the prescription), Cliff “Lee-prise”Lee’s Pineapple Express, Oswalt’s OG Kush, the Train Wreck of the Cole-train, and even Blanton’s shwag snicklefritz to keep the hot-boxed crowds at Citizen’s Bank Park sharin’ in the groove in a high-flyin’ 2011 baseball season.