90 on 95

Sports, rumors, and humor from the Ben Franklin to the George Washington

The Daily Drive – April 5th, 2011

The Daily Drive will be a daily (duh) post of all the prominent things going on in the sports world we didn’t cover, and anything else we might want to share with you. Like this new investment opportunity. Seriously, you give me a thousand dollars, and in one month I’ll give you back $100, 000. It’s foolproof. I heard about it from a friend in Queens.

Also, we apologize for not having a Daily Drive up yesterday. I was busy with work all day as was Timmy. So I’ve got two videos for you today, I hope that makes up for it.

– Here’s the first. It’s a mash-up of Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure and Inception.

-UConn won the National Championship last night. White people with cushy jobs everywhere  rejoiced.

-Oh boy, what a game at the Garden last night. The Rangers were down 3 to the Bruins early into the second, but struck back Empire style to earn the win, and all but punch their ticket to the the playoffs. We’ll have a full write up tomorrow about the ramifications of Ryan Callahan’s injury and what it means for the Rangers playoff hopes.

-On the other side of 95, the Flyers have recalled goaltender Michael Leighton as they prepare for the playoffs.

-Bob Brookover from the Inquirer writes about how the Phillies and Met’s aren’t really rivals anymore. What??? You mean a team that is a model for success doesn’t really care about an abysmal team that is a perennial loser? Surely, you jest.

-Lou William’s of the Sixers looks to be out for some significant time, dampening their chances at a first round upset in the playoffs. I don’t care either, so this is what Denise Richards (40!!) looks like in a bikini. I bet you somewhere Charlie Sheen is kicking himself, while doing cocaine off of a prostitute’s tits with a hundred dollar bill. OK, he’s probably kicking the prostitute.

-3 nights in a row, 3 new all-time low’s for stadium attendance for the Bronx Bombers. Somewhere, a Pittsburgh Pirates fan is weeping. Probably into his 6 time NFL champion Steelers hat. Or his 3 time NHL champion Penguins t-shirt. What I’m trying to say is, go fuck yourself Pittsburgh.

-Across the pond, Wayne Rooney is appealing his 2-match (that’s fancy speak for “game”) ban after swearing into the camera following one of his 3 goals during Man U.’s comeback win on Saturday, one that all but assured them the Premiership Title. (No link provided because Manchester United can suck a fat one.) Wow, 2 games for swearing? Oh England, with your tea time’s and backwards driving. Don’t ever change. Could you imagine if it was like that back here in the States. Honestly, I think you’d have to rape a girl in Colorado to get a ban over here. Allegedly.

-The NFL, set to meet in court with NFLPA on Wednesday (it’s like my parent’s divorce mediation all over again), has given $1 million dollars to charities of current and former NFL players, as a bit of saving face. “Hey baby, sure I fucked your sister, twice; but look, I got you flowers.”

-And finally, courtesy of Toronto, it’s SlutWalk 2011. There’s is nothing better than hearing a news anchor, a woman at that who has to deal with criticism’s double that of men and who nothing more want’s to be treated as the equal she is, say the phrase “slut walk.”

It’s almost like Canada and England are the same, but not. Have a great day guys!

One response to “The Daily Drive – April 5th, 2011

  1. dio April 6, 2011 at 8:18 PM

    No way this is Canada…no accents. Probably somewhere in Washington or Idaho.

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