90 on 95

Sports, rumors, and humor from the Ben Franklin to the George Washington

Rags-standing on the verge of gettin it on


First things first, if you don’t want to hear the biased opinion of a spoiled New York Yankees, Rangers, Giants, and Knicks fan, you’re in the wrong place.  Now, what better way to pop my 90 on 95 cherry than talking about the Rags and their playoff chances.  Monday night’s comeback win over Boston was possibly the best game of the season for the Rangers.  Of course that was the same night as our precious NCAA championship game so I stopped watching after the third Bruins goal,  naturally.  While I was sitting in the bar watching the single worst game of basketball I’d ever seen (men, high school or even women) I found out that the Rangers had defied all odds and won.  Last I saw, Boston had a fuckin 3 goal kush in the second period.  I mean any Rags fan knows we are not a comeback team of late, shit we can hardly score 2 in a game.  But, out of nowhere Wojtek Wolski decided to show up.  After averaging around ten minutes a game and being a healthy scratch in that embarrassing loss to the Isles, Wojtek brought his team back from the grave.  I figured we’d lost and were on our way to having a repeat of last year’s fail against that team the Flyers from some city in Pennsylvania.  I think it’s called Camden-New Jersey, Pennsylvania (side bar: Rangers buried the Flyers last time I was at the Garden… a laugher that finished 7-0 I think).

https://i2.wp.com/farm6.static.flickr.com/5140/5507441987_97903373bd.jpg

Rangers salute after pummeling Philly

photo found here, thanks Bob Fina

But this time we’ve got the Polish wunderkind Wolski, who was right in the middle of things, primary assisting on goals 1 and 2.  By the time Doobie tied it late in the 3rd it was just a matter of time before the Rags produced the winner, even from the unlikely stick of Michael Sauer.  Good thing the entire state of Connecticut has this unwarranted allegiance to UCONN basketball so I could catch that awful game instead of the second half of the Rags’ epic comeback.  I seriously think the game was fixed.  I mean the over/under was 129 and they could have played triple OT and not scored 130 points.  Yet, there I was listening to some drunk old guy talking about how “the rims are tighter than a frog’s asshole” and shit like that.  My remedy was to keep pounding pilsners, which isn’t really anything new.  Even if I had been at Madison Square Garden, and not stuck watching fuckin basketball, the beer would’ve been flowing steadily.  So I guess that’s not exactly a remedy, but rather a fact.

When the Rags got the lead, the Garden must’ve been nutty, fuck, I wish I was there.  While they hadn’t locked up a playoff spot yet, things were looking good up 4-3 at home.  That is until that goon Chara, who must be close to 7 feet tall on skates, whacked a bomb of a slapshot into Callahan’s ankle.  Just like that, a huge come-from-behind win turns into disaster as the Rags’ best skater, penalty killer, checker, and second leading scorer is done.  If this is gonna be our year, we’ll be doing it without Cally.

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Notice how even with a broken ankle, in the 3 seconds it takes the camera to pan back to the Rangers’ zone Callahan has managed to get up and make his way to the bench.  What a fuckin gamer and a tough SOB to say the least.

And oh yeah I almost forgot to mention that if I have the option between playing the Caps or the Flyers bring on the Flyers.  I keep hearing people saying shit like “Well wouldn’t you rather have the Capitals? They are perennial first round losers.”  While that may be true, I’d much rather take my chances with the cheesesteak eaters.  Yes, I realize they were in the finals last year but so were the Blackhawks and they’re about to barely squeak into the playoffs.  Plus, it’s all about who has been winning lately, and the Flyers have a very weak 3 wins over their last 10 games.  Who is their goalie anyway? We’ve got Henrik Lundqvist, the best goalie in the league, and quite possibly the best-looking one too.  Flyers got someone named Bobobrovska–ah fuck it.  We’ll call him Ba ba ba ba Barbara Ann.  Maybe that’s what the GM of the Flyers was thinking.  “Saw Bob-rov-sky so I thought I’d take a chance” This dude would need a lot of help to shut out anyone, even a low-scoring (to say the least) team like the Rangers.  And with King Henrik straight murdering it, BaBobrovsky and/or Boucher and the Flyers would need a miracle to outclass the king.

That being said, none of it matters without a win tonight vs. Atlanta.  We need the Rangers skaters need to step it up in a big way moving forward.  Gaborik, Boyle, Prust, Anisimov I’m talking about you guys.  Tonight the Rags have Atlanta at home–a game that should be a walk in the park.  The Thrashers have the chance to decide the fate of both the Rangers and the Hurricanes.  If the Rags go down tonight, Carolina will have the chance to beat Atlanta tomorrow night to force a tie for 8th with one game left.  All I’m saying is that better not fucking happen.  Tonight’s game SHOULD be the game that clinches a playoff spot, but who knows since the Rangers sometimes struggle with the worst teams in the league.  If it were Philly or Boston on the schedule for tonight I would be confident that we’d be clinching.  Maybe the Rags’ players know how shitty those two cities are, so they really enjoy beating them into a pulp.  Boston’s got absolutely nothing going on, at least Philly has Pat’s, Geno’s, and the Illadelph factory–steaks n bongs, I’m not complaining.  Atlanta, on the other hand, literally has nothing to play for, which scares me.  As long as they realize their hatred for Carolina lies deeper than that for New York, the Thrashers skaters should spend tonight with their hands firmly gripping their ankles.  Hopefully the next time you hear from me it will be to talk about the Rangers first round matchup against either Washington, Philly, or Boston.  Until then, remember… Potvin sucks, and so do the soon-to-be 0-9 Red Sox.

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