90 on 95

Sports, rumors, and humor from the Ben Franklin to the George Washington

The Night My Brain Exploded


"OMG J-Roll just loves him some first pitch Swingin!"

Gross is the only way to describe last nights Phillies game. Ian F’n Kennedy looked like Cy Young facing the punch less Phillies offense. All spring training we heard about how “we plan on making adjustments because teams realized how to pitch us last year.” As far as I can tell, the only adjustment that has been made has been Shane Victorino opening his stance about 4 inches. Other than that J-Roll still loves his “I’m gonna swing at the first goddamn pitch and either A. Ground out weakly to 2nd or B. Pop up to the infield.” I mean this guy is our number three hitter and he has TWO RBI’s! Raul Ibanez looks like he just genuinely is aging in dog years. Usually when he is in a slump he’s getting fooled by off speed stuff that he isn’t expecting; now he’s getting blow away by 91mph fastballs a little up in the zone. If im Charlie I sit him for two reason:

"I'm literally this fucking far away from the ball when I swing"

1. His bat speed is atrocious right now

2. His fielding is a joke. He has no range, and throws like a 10 year old girl.

Ryan Howard has had some solid AB’s and is obviously seeing next to nothing close to the strike zone, but he is striking out an obscene amount of times. Now I understand that our offense is without two main cogs in Utley and Werth, but its no excuse why the other members of the starting lineup refuse to change their mentality. With the exception of Placido Polanco, no one on the team makes a mid at bat adjustment. Polanco choked up twice last night and got two of the three Phillies hits. Its fundamental baseball that just doesn’t seem to sink in with this particular batch of hitters. Im sure Charlie is more frustrated than anybody watching this bullshit from the front row every night, but I think it’s about time he goes on a tirade in the clubhouse. Let his squad of overpaid pop-outs understand that their current mentality is not acceptable. Be clear to them that hitting is contagious, all it takes is a single here, a double there and a rally happens and everyone’s confidence is back. It looked like everyone was trying to hit a 6 run homer last night. By simply getting some guys on base, we could have gotten to Kennedy last night. Didn’t happen though, he was as comfortable as a pussy clam out there. Shit needs to change or else we are in serious trouble. PICK IT THE FUCK UP!(Panic button pushed)

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