Yes, I Am a Dumbass
April 29, 2011
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I got my swim trunks, and my flippy floppies- give me a break I was on a muthafuckin boat.
Well, I’ve decided to return from my self-imposed hiatus. After making a ridiculous claim on Friday that the Knicks actually had a chance against the Celtics, I decided to quit for a while. I know it was a retarded prediction, but I had a moment of weakness while I was fishin and drankin on a boat down in Florida. Apparently self-deprecating posts are becoming a habit of mine (really I just wanted you to see the picture of Adam Morrison crying again). Anyway, the Knicks suck, but who can expect them to have been good with Amare and Chauncy hurt (besides my dumb ass, obviously). That’s like expecting a pizza to be good without cheese and sauce- just not gonna happen. Maybe next year Knicks fans, maybe next year. At least we got to see a whole 96 minutes of playoff basketball in the Garden (an astronomical 13.7 minutes per year after a seven-year absence from the playoffs).
As upsetting as the Knicks’ playoff run (more like crawl) was, the Rangers were even more upsetting because they straight-up blew two overtime games. In game 1 Marc Staal tried to clear a puck out of the defensive zone, but it ended up on the stick of Alexander Semin, and in the back of the net.
In game 4 Marion Gaborik proved to be a true bone-head- in double overtime no less. He tried to poke-check a puck that goalie Henrik Lundqvuist clearly could have saved, right into the body and onto the stick of Capitals’ forward Jason Chimera. Chimera then buried the shot from point-blank range. The Rangers squandered a golden opportunity to tie the series and swing the momentum back in their favor by giving away a 3-0 in the third period. When Chimera scored he effectively ended the series. Yes there was a game 5 to play, but every Blueshirt faithful knew what would happen. The Rangers are one of the youngest teams in hockey, and they have a bright future ahead of them. With a core of Brandon Dubinsky, Ryan Callahan, and Marc Staal, the Rangers should turn into one of the Eastern Conferences’ best teams. Bryan McCabe and Steve Eminger are the Rangers’ only major unrestricted free agents this year, so for once the Rangers may have some consistency next year. Matt Gilroy and Steve Sauer are restricted free agents this year, but expect the Rangers to offer both new contracts.
Anyway, at least we still have the Yankees. The end of hockey and basketball playoffs in New York signal the start of the sports summer, and the Yankees are looking good early. Let it be known that April 29, 2011 is the official start of the King Felix watch. Maybe not this year, but one day King Felix will be a Yankee (Lets hope I won’t be making fun of myself yet again).