90 on 95

Sports, rumors, and humor from the Ben Franklin to the George Washington

Phillies Preview – May 20th 2011


May 20th 2011 – 7:05 pm
Texas Rangers (23-21) C.J. Wilson (4-2, 3.38 ERA)
Philadelphia Phillies (26-17) Roy Halladay (5-3, 2.21 ERA)

The depressingness (not too sure if that’s a word) of watching the Phillies may have reached an all time high last night. Jason “I look like Ras Al Ghul/inject steroids everyday” Giambi hit three home runs which traveled a combined 2,323,445,243 feet (just kidding, they haven’t calculated the distance since two haven’t landed yet). Giambi also undoubtably made KK cry. The Phillies offense? Improvement! They had more than five hits for the first time in four games mustering a grand total of…..6. But the news gets even worse (or maybe better?) Shane-0 and Blanton went on the DL after the game allowing the great Dominic Brown to make his return to Philly. The reason it could be okay that these two got hurt is well Joe Blanton completely sucks so no one will miss him, but giving Dominic his chance could be a blessing if he succeeds.

Tonight Roy pitches so we won’t give up any runs, but of course all that matters is if the Phillies will score any runs. Dominic isn’t starting due to C.J. Wilson (a lefty) starting, so Chuck has thrown Ben Francisco’s carcass back in right field. He’s been brutal, but let’s look at two former MVPs performance over the past five games for while the offense is really struggling. J-Roll is three for his last nineteen and Ryan Howard, hitless in his last twenty at-bats. Not great numbers for your one and four hole hitters.

The lack of offense has really been brutal on Roy Halladay. The defending NL Cy Young award winner has thrown two straight complete games and has lost both of them. He’s been, as usual, one of the best pitchers in all of baseball and it’s amazing that he’s 5-3 if you look at the numbers he’s put up. But you can’t blame Roy for his W/L record, it’s entirely on the offense. Hopefully tonight the bullshit ends and they finally start hitting. Will that happen? Most likely not, but fucking it has to eventually…..right?

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