90 on 95

Sports, rumors, and humor from the Ben Franklin to the George Washington

Series Preview: Florida Marlins vs. Philadelphia Phillies


Another team that has been absolutely brutal lately? Check. Four game series against this brutal team? Check. Winning? Most likely a check.

Tuesday June 14th – 7:05pm
Chris Volstad (2-6)
vs.
Cole Hamels (8-2)

Wednesday June 15th – 1:05pm
Mystery Man (?-?)
vs.
Kyle Kendrick (3-4)

Wednesday June 15th – 7:05pm
Anibal Sanchez (6-1)
vs.
Roy Halladay (9-3)

Thursday June 16th – 1:05pm
Javier Vazquez (3-6)
vs.
Cliff Lee (6-5)

Double header? Two day games in three days???? Damn that sounds sexy. But it also makes me realize how much I miss college. If I could time travel back a year I’d still be a bum college student with about $23.50 in my Wachovia account (Yeah Wells Fargo wasn’t around a year ago, remember that?) and waking up everyday at 12:45. Sure I’d be poor, but on Wednesday/Thursday I’d roll out of bed turn on CSN and be able to watch every inning of both day games.

I tried to find a sad Marlin....but failed...This fake "sad looking" fish holding a little girl's hand will have to suffice in summing up how the 270 world-wide Florida Marlins fans feel right now.

Flash forward back to present day and I’m a working man who doesn’t get to watch every inning the Phillies play. Growing up. It sucks, but I guess it’s a necessary evil. Making money is sweet, but it’s pretty, pretty, prettttty tough to beat drinking beers at 1:05pm on a Wednesday. Alcoholic? Yeah, yeah I hear ya.

Enough writing about the golden days, I may start to tear up like a little pussy. Next on the schedule for the Phillies are the Florida Marlins. Implosion would be an appropriate term to throw at the Marlins past couple weeks. They have won one game in their last twelve and have gone from popular sleeper to battling the New York Mets for third in the division 7.5 games behind the Phillies. DaftPuck will touch more on the Marlins struggles later today, but take my word for it…..Not happy times in Fishy land.

Happy days have come again in Philly land. Ryan Howard is hitting lefties, Michael Stutes has managed to grow some gorgeous locks of hair, and god dammit Chase fucking Utley is back and alive. Mix in the Phillies 4-Aces being absolutely locked in and would you look at that, this team is playing like a baseball team. With their win on Sunday they became the first team in baseball to get to forty wins in the 2011 season. I mean that has to count for something.

Keys to the Series

  • Keep winning series. The Phillies won the Cubs series 3-1 after a heart breaking blown save in game 1. They managed to shake it off and rip off three straight solid wins over the hapless Chicago Cubs. Amazingly enough the Florida Marlins may be playing worse baseball than the Cubbies. They aren’t hitting, the bullpen is a mess and have just been getting beaten every way possible over the past few weeks. Once again no excuses for the Phillies to not win at least three of these games.
  • Ch-Utley. He’s back. He made an insane catch to win the game on Sunday and went 6-17 with two doubles and a homer at the plate in the Cubs series. And on top of that? He’s trying to make a baby Chase. He’s the man. I ❤ you Chase. (Gay. I Know. I don’t care.)
  • Aces Party! Roy? 9 wins. Cole? 8 wins. Lee’s last two starts? Damn near unhittable. Kyle Kendrick? Just remember, this is your wife. Don’t suck,  you can’t afford her to break up with you, no one wants to bang the 5th starter. Remember those words of wisdom.

One response to “Series Preview: Florida Marlins vs. Philadelphia Phillies

  1. Philadelphia Water Damage October 19, 2011 at 1:13 PM

    Sad that the Phillies are out of the playoffs. I thought they were going to win it this year 😦

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