Fortnight – –noun
of fourteen nights and days; two weeks.
I’m pretty sure I found out what the word fortnight meant some time in college. I want to say my junior year, and I really feel like a video game was involved. Needless to say it’s a word a lot of Florida Marlins players should be familiar with. After last nights shellacking, it has been 2 weeks since the Florida Marlins were playing competitive baseball. They’ve won 2 games since two Tuesday’s ago, and the losses have been extravagant.
“It was nice to see us swing the bats,” Upton said. “This was a good series for us.” (via ESPN
Never mind the fact that the team came back late and made the game interesting. A loss is a loss is a fucking loss to the god damn Arizona D-Backs. It’s been an interesting two weeks for the Fish, and there are clearly a few glaring reasons why they’ve fallen out of Wild Card contention (I’ve already conceded the East to the Phillies.)
-1. Injuries : Every team goes through injuries, and no one likes to point to them as the reason a team is struggling. But when you lose your number 1 starter (and Cy Young Candidate) Josh Johnson and your number 1 player, Hanley Ramirez, it’s going to affect the team negatively. Usually this is the point where the younger guys like LoMo and Stantonicity step up, but they’ve been playing hard all year, and have delivered more than they’ve been expected too.
-2 Bullpen: Before this whole collapse, this bullpen was the best in baseball. Lowest ERA, unstable Latino closers, sexy mustaches, this ‘pen had it all. Now Leo Nunez is back to his old self, blowing saves like he’s broke on the corner. The bullpen had to come back to Earth, sure, but what a time to plummet.
This is the third photo that comes up when you Google Image "Leo Nunez" (the first two are a face pic and rookie card.) Ladies and gentleman your closer for 2011!
-3 Obama: I don’t think anyone else is surprised that the same year that Obama declared he was a serious candidate for the Presidential election, the Fish fired Giradi (and sent him to win a ‘ship in the Bronx) and haven’t had the same swagger since. Birth Certificate my ass.
In all seriousness though, this upcoming series is huge for the Fish. If they can even split the series against the Phils, I think that’s a good thing for the team. It’s still mid-June and we have a lot of baseball to play. But you have to start winning games. You can’t go 4 weeks without stringing some wins together. I don’t even think they have a word for that. (It’s called a month, asshole.)
EDIT: You’ll notice I didn’t use a single Charlie Sheen reference to winning during this whole post. That’s cause no one gives a shit anymore. If you or any of your friends are still doing that whole “Winning!” thing, you need to reevaluate your life. Also apologize for the structure of these last few paragraphs. This website is acting like a little bitch right now.