90 on 95

Sports, rumors, and humor from the Ben Franklin to the George Washington

Monthly Archives: July 2011

The Daily Drive – 7/29/2011

The Daily Drive is a daily (duh) post of all the prominent things going on in the sports world we didn’t cover, and anything else we might want to share with you. Just got turned onto turntable.fm, and “SNL in the 90’s” on VH1 is only a half hour into it’s 2 hour run time. I may get distracted.

-To add some more opinions on the Hunter Pence to the Third Reich Philadelphia Phillies: They will overpay for him! They are the front runner for his services!

-Meanwhile, all quiet on the New York Yankees front when it comes to the rumor department. They did however activate Rafael Soriano from the DL. So look for him to cause problems and start giving up runs in no time.

-In U.S. soccer news, one day after the firing of  the men’s coach Bob Bradley (YAY!) comes the hiring of German national Juergen Klinsmann. This is a step in the right direction for the US. Now, if only we could get rid of that asshat Landon Donavon.

– Pittsburgh Steeler James Harrison is apologizing for remarks he made earlier this summer. If I know anything about Roger Goodell’s tenure as commissioner, it’s that he is easily swayed by a sincere apology.

Sports stuff, a cute girl and a video selected at a whim, after the jump. Read more of this post

Bill Belichick: “Are You Not Entertained?”

A few days ago, Patriots fans where celebrating the fact that they would be watching football come September. Back would be Tom Brady and his glorious locks of hair. Back would be Wes Welker and his Napoleon complex. Back would be oft-outspoken, overrated wideout Chad Ochocinco (get it? He doesn’t conform to our norms guys!) and overpaid and slightly psychotic defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth. Wait, what?

The New England Patriots have acquired wide receiver Chad Ochocinco after he accepted a restructured three-year contract from the Patriots, a source told ESPN.com’s John Clayton on Thursday.

Ochocinco was scheduled to make $6.35 million for the Bengals this year. The Patriots wanted him to restructure his contract for salary-cap purposes. (via)

Before we get to Haynesworth, let’s go over this one real quick. There is a lot to like here. Here you’ve got a guy who speaks his mind and tries to be Mr. Big Shot, and now he’s restructuring his contract and agreeing to take less money to play with the Patriots. I like that. We’ve seen what Belichick can do with an ill-tempered wide receiver (RE: Moss, Randy) and there is no reason to think that he didn’t capture lightning in a bottle again. If anything this just shows that despite all the tweeting and celebration antics, maybe Ochocinco deep down inside just wants to win. There isn’t anything wrong with that and if anyone can bring out that fire, it’s Bill Belichick. Remember, before Moss got all bitchy and found his way back to Minnesota, he was at the top of his game. The Pats offense was explosive and they were on their way to a perfect season before some gay basher got in their way.

So when it comes to Ochocinco, let’s give him a year. He’s already been spotted at the practice field, getting cozy with Tom Brady. Somewhere, Carson Palmer is crying into his cheese sandwhich.

The other guy, after the jump. Read more of this post

Ruben is going Hunting

The Answer....the White version


OK time to stop fucking around with the San Francisco Giants.  While this is most certainly a complete over-reaction, the Phillies need to make a move to bring in Hunter Pence.  I have been reading all the positive and negative aspects of Pence recently and to be frank, we need him…badly.  While we will be getting Placido Polanco back soon, which will be a major boost, the Giants bullpen seems to make Ryan Howard and Chase Utley turn into Greg Dobbs.  They have a pen full of lefty’s that neutralize them at an alarming rate.   Obviously having a right-handed power bat in the lineup could do wonders for the offense, but the point here is that this guy is 28 entering the prime of his career.  With a win now mentality, the Phillies can’t afford to wait and see if Domonic Brown will ever learn how to run the bases or take the right route to a fly ball.  Just look at last years playoff series against the Reds for evidence.  Jay Bruce was a STUD all year long.  Then the playoffs come and he misses that one fly ball in the outfield of game 2(I think, I consumed roughly 35 beers before all of those games) and the Reds never had a chance after that.  I’m about as comfortable as a whore in Sunday mass with Dom out there patrolling meandering aimlessly playing right field.  The good news is that we have a GM that will literally mind fuck every other GM he’s competing against to get his guy.  Ruben is probably one of the most savvy baseball executives in the game, and he wants to win a World Series BADLY.  As some other distinguised writer whom i cannot remember right now mentioned, he is from Philadelphia.  He grew up here, played here, lives here, and now works here.  He knows how badly last year stung for everyone that was involved.  He doesn’t want to sit there in October wishing he went out and got that bat…..he’s going to go get that bat.

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The Daily Drive – 7/28/2011

The Daily Drive is a daily (duh) post of all the prominent things going on in the sports world we didn’t cover, and anything else we might want to share with you. Coach DaftPuck yelled at me last night for not posting anything. I went to my locker, cried a little (yeah the yelling was harsh), regrouped and boom Timmyp is back. Coach of the year: DaftPuck.

– Lots of big news type things happened since I last wrote a post on here. The NFL came back (like that’s a surprise). Carlos Beltran got traded (like that’s a surprise). Amy Winehouse died (totally not a surprise…side note: she was my number one pick in the death pool, yeah we do death pools, yeah we are scumbags: NBD).  However, the biggest news during my AWOL stint is that Jasmine Waltz washed her car in a bikini. Who is she????? I dunno and don’t feel like researching her. but WWTDD told me she has a sex tape out and that she dated David Arquette, sounds like she’s one to write home about.

– Ervin Santana threw a no-hitter yesterday. If you didn’t hear about this, then it’s my assumption you don’t watch sports often which makes you visiting this site very, very questionable.

– Albert Haynesworth is going to the Patriots, Reggie Bush to the Dolphins. Those are just two of the 4,556 (rough estimate) deals that have been made in the past 48 hours…yeah my head is exploding.

– We all love Green Man, but I feel as if this was scripted. However, the announcer really wants everyone to know it is Valeria’s birthday.

More treats after the jump.
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Eagles sign some hack they cut two years ago

"Tribal Tattoos=Super Bowl Rings"-Andy Reid


Just once in my life I would like to see the Eagles sign a impact free agent that isn’t a douchebag (Terrell Owens) or hurt (Jevon Kearse).  Nobody knew Mike Vick was still a superhuman when they signed him so he doesn’t count.  Its like Andy Reid and Howie Roseman go out of their way to piss me off.  I can just picture Andy sitting there squirting cheese wiz in his mouth while Howie Roseman is frantically trying to use baseball saber metrics to analyze potential free agents.

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Oh Soccer players!


Saw this video earlier this morning on CNNSI in Hot Clicks.  Soccer players never seem to amaze me with their fighting tactics.  Some one throw a goddamn punch.  Obviously the flying Street Fighter kick is the highlight low light of the video, but just look at those assholes dancing around trying to kick each other.  They do know that they are allowed to use their hands right?  Just another reason soccer will never be popular in The USA.

Welcome back Santonio!

CAN'T WAIT to see more of this

So I finally decided to stroll into work today at 10:30 (Weezy & Rick Ross the Boss Concert)  and hear on ESPN that the Jets have came to terms with Santonio Holmes. He is one of the biggest difference makers on this team and single handedly won 3 games for the Jets last year (See Cleveland, Detroit, Houston). Adam Schefter is reporting that the deal in worth $50 million for 5 years with $24 million guaranteed. With this signing though there is a lot of risk. Santonio is one strike away from being suspended for an entire year, but I’m pretty sure the Jets will take that risk for the high reward that can come with it. Mark Sanchez is still developing and whats a better way to help him develop then having a Super Bowl MVP at wide receiver to help him out.

But with the resigning of Santonio Holmes it probably means the end for Braylon Edwards. I personally liked Braylon a lot. He was a freak of nature at wide receiver and only had ONE dropped ball all of last season. Now if somehow Magic Mike Tannebaum can pull off another Houdini move I think all Jets fans will be ecstatic, but i think Mike the magician is working on something else right now…….

Scary, ain't it

BREAKING: Umpires Are Human

Hellen Keller is rolling over in her grave

There’s a few things I love about baseball. Number one though is that for a sport that doesn’t have a set timer, it is the most precise game of the big 4 (NHL, NFL, MLB and NASCAR, right?). Other sports contain moments of controlled chaos, such as breakaways or a big 3rd down interception. Baseball just chugs away like a train in 1940 Italy, always where it should be. The right fielder is always in his spot, the 5 hitter always follows number 4 and Chipper Jones always looks like the worlds worst dad. Of course their can’t be beauty without some ugly.

Lugo took on Scott Proctor‘s grounder to third baseman Pedro Alvarez, whose throw to catcher Michael McKenry easily beat Lugo to the plate. Lugo tried to avoid McKenry’s tag with a pop-up slide. Replays indicated McKenry made the tag, but home plate umpire Jerry Meals called Lugo safe. (via)

Now, if you watch the video, or if you just look at the picture above, you can clearly tell that not only was Lugo tagged out, but it’s quite obvious that Jerry Meals isn’t so sure what home plate looks like. But then again, this is baseball, and this is the kind of shit that happens in baseball. This is the controlled chaos of the game. For all the accuracy, and all the stats and book keeping and VORPs (Value Over Replacement Player)  and OBPs (On Base Percentage) and HDLFTs (Hot Dogs Lost From Tripping), it only makes sense that something in the game is not only imperfect, but completely unreliable. Humans fuck shit up all the time, just ask the Germans. (That’s two WWII references, matching a personal best.) It’s our right to error that makes us the beautiful creatures we are. That, and the sound we make when we can’t get a popcorn kernel off the back of our mouth. So it’s only obvious that we will accept this for what it is, and move on right?



Hyperbole, after the jump. Read more of this post

Yeah…I think Chase’s knee is OK

God he has beautiful eyes

End of the day got real busy for CaptainDan yesterday.  I didn’t get a chance to do the Daily Drive which disappointed the millions of fans this blog has.  Although I did manage to put in a call to everyone’s favorite 2nd basemen.  It went a little something like this:

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DeSean Jackson might hold out

That's Andy's "O" face

DeSean Jackson is one of the most dangerous athletes in all of professional sports.  He can change the landscape of a game with a single play (See Giants game, 12/19/10).  He is drastically underpaid at $600,000 this year and is looking for that bank breaking contract.  He previously couldn’t renegotiate because of the NFL’s 30% rule which limited the ability of NFL franchises to renegotiate contracts with players that were outperforming them…or something like that.  D-Jack is looking for that BALLER contract so that he can be seen as one of the premier wideouts in the game.  Problem is….he isn’t.

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