For the 12…ok I’ll be generous to ourselves…14 people who read our website, yes I’m still alive. Sadly, I’m a working man now. Gone are the days of chugging beers and staying up until 3am playing mario party, eating hard boiled eggs (yeah we did some weird things in Park Ave. senior year…and of course I still do all of those things I just go to work instead of play video games and drink beers all day… aka no writing time). I last wrote something on July 28th. Since then a little bit has happened, so I figured I’d fill you with my feelings towards the most important things in the world. (Phillies talk…..duh!) Let’s see if I remember how to write. It’s not gonna be clear/grammatically correct, but then again I never am. Once again I drank beers in college I didn’t focus on learning how to read and write, it’s incredibly overrated.
– The Phillies traded for Hunter Pence. And gave up…..Nothing.
Tim Parker reaction: I went from six to midnight quicker then you can say tomato.
– The Phillies have won nine of their last ten games.
Tim Parker reaction: I talked shit so hard for the past nine days it may be a record, I recall saying everybody hits at least twenty-seven times at the bar the other night.
– Lion OS came out for the mac, nerds unite!
Tim Parker reaction: My old computer blew up (far too many trips to brazzers). Now I have a mac. I am now sleek and sexy all day and there’s nothing you can say to make me feel otherwise.
– Shane Victorino got hit in the back by a pitch. He was suspended 3 games for walking towards the mound, yelling, pointing and trying to get away from a coach to go UFC on any and all Giants players.
Tim Parker reaction: Gay suspension. Let the boys argue sir.
– The next day Chase Utley gets fooled on a pitch and throws his bat at Timmy Tim Jam’s leg. No suspension.
Tim Parker reaction: New strategy! Swing hard as hell, time the release perfectly, boom! broken shin, see ya! Let’s hope they remember this for the inevitable matchup against Timmy in the NLCS.
– Roy Oswalt is back in the rotation and Kyle Kendrick is back in the bullpen.
Tim Parker reaction: Always remember KK, you still get to sleep with this every night.
So since I’ve last talked about the Phillies things have been going well. They pulled off the blockbuster trade, got a little revenge against the Giants, and are destroying any and all in their path. At 74-40 it’s not a matter of making the playoffs anymore, it’s a matter of breaking records. I only get to watch 48 more regular season games and as always I’ll be expecting 48 more regular season victories. Keep trucking boys.