90 on 95

Sports, rumors, and humor from the Ben Franklin to the George Washington

STFU Stevie Williams


Just ride those Coat Tails Stevie

I am not a fan of Tiger Woods.  I actually despise the guy and everything that he does.  I’ve always been a Phil Mickelson kinda guy.  I have never like the vanilla comments Tiger makes after wins, the way he scowls at the crowd when someone blinks too loudly during his back swing, or his general I’m a pompous asshole attitude towards life.  The only time I have ever openly rooted for Tiger is in the Ryder Cup (I love America) in which he consistently disappoints me (same with Phil).  Which is why the following paragraph is going to make me feel dirty.

Happier Days

One of the main reasons i didn’t like Tiger was because he also employed one of the biggest douches on tour in Stevie Williams.  This is a guy who gets paid to carry a fucking golf bag.  That’s it.  Yeah he might do some research on the course, and have a pretty solid yardage book, but in reality he carries a bag of clubs and maybe makes a suggestion as to how Tiger should play his next shot.  Oh and he has been getting paid millions of dollars to do it.  Williams was recently fired by Woods for some unknown reasons that will surely come out in the book that Williams will most assuredly write.  Some theories being tossed out there are that Woods was pissed that Williams asked to carry Aussie Adam Scott’s bag at the US Open when it was clear that Tiger wasn’t physically able to play.  You know what?  Tiger has EVERY RIGHT to be pissed off about that.  Thats like asking your pregnant wife the following:

“Hey honey I know your all bloated and miserable right now, suffering mood swings that could be diagnosed as severe bi-polar disorder or borderline schizophrenia……but do you mind if i go down the street and fuck the Co-Ed that just moved in?  I mean i haven’t been laid in MONTHS and i need to get back out there and make sure my game is still where it needs to be.  Its not gonna be permanent, I just gotta see if I’m still as flexible as I used to be so i can make you just as happy in the future” 

Tiger is probably at the lowest point in his life right now.  Wife and family destroyed, physically unable to play the only thing he’s good at, mentally fatigued, now his best friend, the best man at his wedding wants to go and carry one of his rival’s bag for the weekend.  Tiger has made this jerk off a millionaire several times over.  He is probably the most famous New Zealander in recent memory and now he is biting the hand that feeds him.  After Scott’s win this weekend at the WGC-Bridgestone invitational, reporters flocked to talk to Williams instead of Scott….the guy that actually shot -16 under and won.  You know what Williams said?

“I’ve been caddying for 33 years and I’ve never had a bigger win,”

Laughable.  Guy wins 13 majors with the greatest golfer in the world and he calls some BS win at the Bridge-stone Invitational the greatest of his career?  Asshole, douche-bag, scum sucker.  Here is to Tiger regaining his form and making this jackass irrelevant for the rest of his life.

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