90 on 95

Sports, rumors, and humor from the Ben Franklin to the George Washington

Monthly Archives: September 2011

Here We Go (again)


Hopefully Girardi will be wearing the number 29 next year

Here we go again.  Another October for all the marbles.  Baseball playoffs.  Hockey season firing up.  Football getting into swing.  What more can a guy ask for?

The Yankees face the supposedly untouchable Justin Verlander tonight.  Yesterday ESPN NY writer Wallace Matthews said that it’s safe to assume the Yankees will lose because Verlander won 96% of his starts this year.  When I double checked the numbers, Verlander won 24 out of 39 starts- a hardly untouchable 62%.  I Tweeted him and he responded saying that if he was a math major he’d be doing something else and that he meant 96% of his decisions.  Only problem is Verlander has only won 82% of his decisions.

Verlander is a great pitcher, but he’s set to face another great pitcher in CC Sabathia.  Yanks need to get the bats going, and they need their aging stars to produce.  This is going to be Posada’s last post season in pinstripes, and I’m expecting him to go out with a bang.  The Yanks path to championship number 28 starts now.  Yankees win game 1 5-4.

***UPDATE***  Wallace Matthews just tweeted me back and said we’re cool and that he made a mistake and should be called for it.  Very respectable.  GO YANKS

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NFL Picks: Week 4


Week Three
Straight Up: 11-5
Spread: 8-8

Season
Straight Up: 34-14
Spread: 24-20-4

Not much time to do picks this week, so it’s a picture pick week. Sounds fun in theory, probably will be pretty stupid. Then again, I don’t expect much from myself.

San Francisco (+9) Philadelphia Eagles

Remember when he killed dogs?? Now all everyone cares about is his hand.... Gotta love America.

Eagles 20 49ers 17

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Yeah I Think Jaromir Might enjoy playing with Claude….


So I’m going to do everything in my power not to talk about the Eagles/Giants debacle this past weekend, and what better way to start it off by talking about the results of a preseason NHL Game!

::Borat Voice:: "I LIKE YOU!"

Last night on the heels of the much anticipated announcement of the 2012 Winter Classic being held at Citizens Bank Park, the Flyers and Rangers took part in some pre-season puck.  I have to be honest, I was one of the first people to question the off season moves of Jeff Carter and Mike Richards, two of the most productive players in the Orange and Black’s recent history.  Not only were they productive, they were two of my favorite players who I loved rooting for.  But this is a business and it is the way things go sometimes (god GM’s around the world have brainwashed me).  Not only did they give up two of my faves, they acquired two of my LEAST favorites in Jaromir Jagr and agitator Max Talbot.  First of all, I thought Jagr had retired to some Russian Gulag to spend his latter days drinking Stolichyna and gambling away his life savings with Russian prostitutes all around (rash generalization).  Little did I know that he was actually tearing it up in the KHL, working out like a fiend, all while finding God.  Well it paid off.

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NFL Picks: Week 3


Week Two
Straight up: 13-3
Spread: 9-5-2

Season
Straight up: 23-9
Spread: 16-12-4

New England Patriots (-8.5) Buffalo Bills

Could it be? The Buffalo Bills may actually be decent. Their offense looks realllll good. But their defense did just give up 35 points to the Oakland Raiders. And let’s be serious its the Buffalo Bills. Have fun Mr. Brady. Patriots 42 Bills 31

Miami Dolphins (+2.5) Cleveland Browns

Once the Phillies playoff run is over I’m going into a sports coma for a while. Maybe the Dolphins will actually show up on the road as they have done in past seasons. If not I’m picking against them every week for the rest of the year. Dolphins 20 Browns 16

More picks after the jump.

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The Rivalry


GREATEST......PICTURE......EVER

Well I know it has been a long time since this website has seen my elegant, beautiful prose words strung together to form sentences, but nothing will make a man grab his keyboard like the fantastic football rivalry that is the NY football Giants and the Philadelphia Eagles.  Now most of you know that my allegiances are with the boys in green, but it takes two to tango as they say, and the NY giants are the Ying to the Eagles Yang.  The battle between these two teams has everything necessary to form an unmatched rivalry.  Close proximity, rabid drunk fan bases, big play potential, a love of Pork Roll/Taylor Ham.  The Eagles have gotten the best of the G-Men recently running off a string of six wins in a row, none more memorable than this one.  Growing up in Central Jersey I was surrounded by both Eagles and Giants fans, and some of my best friends are genetically flawed support big blue.  This has lead to heated arguments, cheap shots in rough touch football, shit talking of epic levels as well as the shunning of each other after a tough loss.

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NFL Picks: Week 2


Tom Brady is a decent quarterback. 517 yards? Goddamn. I can barely do that in Madden. As I sat at the bar Monday night watching Tom filet the Dolphins horrific defense it dawned on me around my 15th beer that he’s the best quarterback I’ll ever see in my lifetime. He’s an 8th of the way to 4,000 yards already.  In one game. One fucking game. Three Super Bowl wins. Two Super Bowl MVPs. Six Pro Bowls. Oh, and he’s only 34 so he’ll be around a few more years. Anyway a lot of stuff happened in Week one, but that performance deserved it’s own little intro paragraph. At least we can still make fun of him for this:

However Tom also gets this each night. He wins.

Week Two Picks after the jump.

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Jets Takeoff – 9/11/11


NEVER FORGET

It’s time. Opening Day. Every American looks forward to this time every year. We can now put our problems aside for one day every week and just follow football. Nothing to worry about except your favorite team, fantasy players, spreads, and if the grill is fired up. I cannot explain how jacked I get every year for Opening Day especially now with the Jets being a Super Bowl contender every year. Today is also a time for reflection though as it is the 10th anniversary of 9/11/01. We will never forget where we were that day or what we were doing. I was sitting in Social Studies my freshman year of High School and hearing stories that planes have crashed into the Twin Towers, the Pentagon, and in Pennsylvania. I did not believe it because we were the United States, nothing happens to us, we would not let this happen to us, but it did. The scariest part of the day though was when I was sitting in lunch and the Asst. Principal came into the lunch room and asked me to come to the Principal’s office. I was nervous because I did not know where my dad was working that day because he usually works in Manhattan and takes the PATH train into the World Trade Center. I was lucky though, I got down to the Principal’s Office and my mother was standing there and my father was picking up my brother from his school. They just wanted to be together as a family for the day, but I still remember seeing many of my classmates in the Principal’s office balling their eyes out because they lost a family member and it still brings a lot of sadness to me today

But while we remember those we lost we also remember all the heroes of that day and also all the heroes since that day. The FDNY, NYPD, and PAPD running into the burning buildings and sprinting up to the top of the towers while people are running away without the blink of an eye. The same with the firefighters and police officers in Washington D.C. doing the exact same thing at the Pentagon.  The people on Flight 93 that heard what had happened in NYC and Washington D.C. and decided to do something about it and try to take over the plane so no others would be hurt. Our soldiers that have been in Iraq and Afghanistan and risking their lives every day so we can be safe here. My Uncle Wayne and his partner clearing everybody out of Times Square after street vendors alerted him that there was a car bomb. The Navy SEALS that went in and took out that MOTHERFUCKER bin Laden with a shot right between his FUCKING eyes. Today is more then a regular Sunday of football, today is a day to celebrate America and what’s more American then football.

Jets vs. Cowboys preview after the jump.

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NFL Picks: Week 1 Part II


Well I’m 1-0 straight up and 1-0 against the spread (barely)…. I should just quit now because it’s only going go downhill from here. Then again I am pretty damn smart so we could be looking at a perfect season…ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.

Of course anything is, c'mon KG

Pittsburgh Steelers vs. Baltimore Ravens (-1.5)

Running the ball, nasty defense, Ray Lewis yelling, quarterbacks raping women, all of these terms come to mind when you think Steelers-Ravens. Expect much of the same (maybe minus the raping of women, although watch out Polamalu you never know) from these two rivals. The Ravens did a bit of a makeover bringing in 20 new players. The Steelers are the same old Steelers and with Big Ben under center have beaten the Ravens seven straight times. No reason for that to change. Steelers 23 Ravens 17

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NFL Picks: Week 1


With the return of the NFL comes the return of the great Tim Parker. I feel a little motivated after having my 12th fantasy football draft last night, so fuck it I’ll write up some picks. I’d give you some in depth analysis but it’s week one so who the hell knows what is going to happen. All I know is that football is finally back, thank you baby Jesus.

Thank God These Two Idiots Figured It Out

So here are my picks for the first week of the 2011-12 season. If your a betting man I’d take them to Vegas, I mean I am college educated so you’d be retarded not to take them to the bank. All spreads are from footballlocks.com

New Orleans Saints vs. Green Bay Packers (-4)

A matchup of the past two Super Bowl winners starts off the new NFL season. The Saints are coming off a heartbreaking playoff loss to a terrible Seahawks team who ended the Saints repeat dreams with one of, if not the best runs in NFL history by the great Marshawn Lynch.

Marshawn Lynch....The Dream Killer

Then you have the Green Bay Packers. It seemed as if every single player was hurt at some juncture of the 2011 season yet they still managed to run through the NFC in the playoffs and then defeat the Steelers 31-25 in Super Bowl XLV (45 for those who don’t like those gay numerals). Now they welcome back Ryan Grant and the freak Jermichael Finley? Yikes. Their defense does take a hit losing Cullen Jenkins and Nick Barnett, but it shouldn’t be an issue for the defending champs to find replacements for them.

I’ll say expect a high flying game between two of the best offenses in the league…but once again it’s week one so there’s always the likelihood of the ugly “we’ve only been practicing for five weeks” 17-13 game is possible. I want some points though, I mean it is opening night air it out a bit boys. Packers: 36 – Saints: 28

Rest of the picks will be up this weekend. I can’t write that much in one day without my brain exploding.

 

So You’ve Decided To Buy A New Jersey (Pt. 4)


This is my five part series in how to buy a sports jersey. I didn’t plan for it to be a series, but like your Mom didn’t exactly plan for you, these things happen. Also, I’M BACK! Click here for Part 1. And here for Part 2, and Part 3 is here

Sorry for not posting for a week guys, my house didn’t get power until Sunday. I would have posted yesterday but I was busy catching up on all the jerking off time I missed. Internet porn or GTFO.

Rule #4: Do your best to stay away from soccer.

You’ve had it with North American sports jerseys. It seems like every few days you walk around you notice someone in a different style of jersey; a more contemporary and chic jersey when compared to it’s brethren from across the pond. There’s always weird names like BWIN and OPEL on the front, and even weirder names like Kaka or Lukaku on the back. But everyone wearing them looks so comfortable. So relaxed. Their jersey isn’t just to support their team, it’s a fashion statement. Wearing a big clunky hockey jersey or football jersey to a party doesn’t really attract the ladies, and unfortunately you are the type of guy who has to wear a T-shirt under his basketball jersey. But that sexiness of this European piece of fashion reaches out to you, calling your name while promising you a world filled with drinking at absurd hours of the day (RE: before 3 PM) just because you’re watching, The Game. That’s it, you decide. Soccer, here I come. You do some quick research online. Minutes turn into hours once you discover Lionel Messi on Youtube. You’ve picked you’re favorite team, and now you’ve got to settle on a player. It get’s simple, you want a cool sounding name (NO GERMANS!) and a cool number. Boom, you’ve got it. Liverpool. Red. Number 9. Fernando Torres. Guy is so good, he won’t be leaving this team.

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