90 on 95

Sports, rumors, and humor from the Ben Franklin to the George Washington

NFL Picks: Week 5

I’ll be honest with you, I have a few more important things on my mind today then my NFL picks. For one I may have a heart attack after the Phillies blow up and you’ll never hear from me again. But any who here’s my week 5 picks, let’s hope I make it long enough to see if I win or lose them. Since picture week was so exciting last week, I’m going to do one sentence for each game…..because I’m getting lazy. Putting together more than 15 words is quite the challenge.

Week 4
Straight Up: 10-6
Spread: 8-8

Straight Up: 44-20
Spread:  32-28-4

New Orleans (-6.5) Carolina

Drew Brees is going to have a million fantasy points..I hope. Saints 30 Panthers 17

Kansas City (+2) Indianapolis

Peyton Manning will have zero points…I guarantee. Chiefs 20 Colts 16

Philadelphia (-3) Buffalo

Incase you’ve forgotten, Mike Vick once killed a puppy dog. Eagles 30 Bills 24

Seattle (+9.5) NY Giants

The Seahawks logo is very frumpy looking. He wants to be angry, but more than anything he just looks annoyed. Dammit that’s two sentences, or 3 if you count this as a sentence. Oh well, I tried. Giants 29 Seahawks 17

Poor guy just doesn't seem happy with life.

Cincinnati (+2.5) Jacksonville

Love a good battle between two cats. Jaguars 21 Bengals 20

Tennessee (+3) Pittsburgh

Incase you’ve forgotten, Ben Roethlisberger once raped a girl. Titans 24 Steelers 17

Oakland (+6) Houston

Darren McFadden once raped a man named Mark…wait wait my bad that was just Mark Sanchez in the fetal position crying to himself because he sucks NO raping was involved. Texans 24 Raiders 20

Arizona (+3) Minnesota

McNabb. Kolb. It’s the battle of mediocre ex-Eagles QBs that no one has been waiting for. Vikings 20 Cardinals 10

Tampa Bay (+3) San Francisco

Hmmmmm are the niners actually decent? 49ers 21 Bucs 20

NY Jets (+9) New England

That sound you hear every Sunday night is  the collective New York Jets fan base crying. Once again this man is your QB. Patriots 40 Jets 21

San Diego (-4) Denver

The Chargers will probably make this game close because Norv Turner still has no fucking clue what is going on. Chargers 37 Broncos 12

Green Bay (-6) Atlanta

Oh Aaron Rodgers can you please just come out and say, “Go fuck yourself Brett Favre”. Packers 34 Falcons 22

Chicago (+5) Detriot

Tigers World Series! Lions Super Bowl! Red Wings Cup! Pistons….who cares. Lions 41 Bears 28

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