90 on 95

Sports, rumors, and humor from the Ben Franklin to the George Washington

Thursday Power Rankings


1. Occupy Wall Street

Say what you will about the demonstrations, but this shit is getting ridiculous. The other night the NYPD acted like a Cobra splinter group and shut down the protests in Zuccotti Park over night while the media slept. Now the protesters are finally taking to the streets en masse, and are hoping to march across the Brooklyn Bridge. This is your chance cops! Blow the bridge when they reach Brooklyn and we’ll be rid of all the protesters and hipsters!

2. Jonathon Papelbon

Signed by the Phillies this past week, Jonathon Papelbon met with the media for the first time in (red) pinstripes. He spoke little of his time with the Red Sox, instead focusing his attention to his upcoming tenure with the Phils. The only way I could hate the Phillies any more would be if they were to trade for Chipper Jones. This team is going to be good this year.  Like, make it past the first round of the playoffs good.

3. PLAYOFF BASEBALL!!!!

The MLB, always the most resilient league when it comes to rule changes, will be expanding it’s number of playoffs teams from 8 to 10, by adding a wild card team to each League. Aww, I’m sure that has nothing to do with both the very popular (and very marketable) Boston Red Sox and Atlanta Braves narrowly missing the postseason this year in favor of the niche teams (RE: unmarketable) Tampa Bay Rays and St. Louis Cardinals. No, nothing at all.

music, the Rags, and an awesome dress, after the jump.

4. Childish Gambino

If Alison Brie is my muse, then Donald Glover is the best friend I wish I had. Aside from spending time writing on 30 Rock and acting on Community, kid also raps. Well. He just dropped a new album, Camp, and it’s pretty good. This is him on Conan the other night.

5. Ricky Gervais

Gervais is back hosting the Golden Globes for a third time in a row, and I couldn’t be more excited about it. Awards shows are always the same old song and dance, so it’s nice when they hire a host who isn’t afraid to go that extra mile for a joke.

6. Jerry Sandusky

OOOOH baby. What a month, huh Jerry? I don’t know if you guys caught the interviews he’s been pulling lately, including the one with Bob Costas, but they are hilarious and disturbing at the same time. Does this guy not have a lawyer? At this point he should just come out and say he fucked those kids, because claiming all you did was shower and touch their thighs doesn’t exactly induce a sigh of relief, Jer.

7. Lauren Pope.

Yeah, I don’t know what she does either. Who cares. Ladies, this is how you get famous. (Courtesy of WWTDD)

8. The New York Rangers

Winners of 7 straight, the Rags are killing it right now. I predicted this team would be a playoff team this year, and it seems like Brad Richards (6 goals, 7 assists) is finally finding his groove with the team. With Sean Avery back and Marc Staal cleared for light practices, it’s a good time to be a Blueshirts fan.

9. South Park

Trey Parker and Matt Stone signed a five year extension with Comedy Central, keeping the hilarious satire on the air for at least 20 seasons. That’s pretty cool for a cartoon that started off with cardboard cutouts and was about Jesus fighting Santa. Apparently last night’s episode was about Penn State, and I’ll be watching it soon. NO SPOILERS PLEASE!

10. Subway Footlongs

Roast beef, bacon and swiss. Fuck yeah.

One response to “Thursday Power Rankings

  1. Dave November 17, 2011 at 5:35 PM

    Boy I can’t wait until Occupy Wall Street is nowhere near the radar again. I miss the old days.

    And I thought Ricky Gervais was going nowhere near the Golden Globes after his stint as host last year?

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