90 on 95

Sports, rumors, and humor from the Ben Franklin to the George Washington

Monthly Archives: December 2011

NFL Picks: Week 16


Who the fuck plays football on Christmas Eve. I forgot that all the games were on Saturday so these are super quickies.

Last Week
Spread: 9-6-1
Straight up: 11-5

Season
Spread: 111-103-10
Straight up: 150-74

Houston (-5.5) Indianapolis

Texans 21 Colts 18

Miami (+9) New England

They fucked up the #suckforluck. The #suckforBarkley doesn’t exist until next year….Guess we are on to #suckforanaveragelinemen/saftey. Oh well. Pats 35 Dolphins 24

Cleveland (+12) Baltimore

Hi Ray Rice. Ravens 24 Browns 10

Arizona (+4.5) Cincinnati

Bengals 17 Cardinals 14

Minnesota (+7) Washington

I want to take Minnesota just so I can tell Matt Lanouette fuck you, but he’ll advance in survivor. Redskins 23 Vikings 13

Denver (-3) Buffalo

Jesus gets born tomorrow. Is there any doubt what happens in this game?????? Broncos 23 Bills 14

St. Louis (+12.5) Pittsburgh

Who doesn’t lay points with Charlie Batch at the helm??????? Steelers 17 Rams 3

NY Giants (+3) NY Jets

Suck it New York your guaranteed a loss today, unless they tie which would be the gayest thing ever. Giants 23 Jets 17

Tampa Bay (+7.5) Carolina

If the Panthers lose I’ll murder myself #survivorpickissues. Panthers 31 Bucs 20

Jacksonville (+7) Tennessee

Titans 17 Jaguars 13

Oakland (+2.5) Kansas City

Classic letdown. Raiders 28 Chiefs 24

San Diego (+2) Detroit

They don’t lose in December!!!!! Chargers 31 Lions 26

Philadelphia (+1) Dallas

It continues. Eagles 28 Cowboys 27

San Francisco (-1) Seattle

49ers 23 Seahawks 14

Chicago (+11) Green Bay

Jesus day game! Packers 37 Bears 9

Altanta (+7) New Orleans

Day after Jesus day game! Saints 29 Falcons 20

NFL Picks: Week 15


Last Week
Straight up: 12-4
Spread: 9-7

Season
Straight up: 139-69
Spread: 102-97-9

Christmas season so these are gonna be quickies.

Jacksonville (+12.5) Atlanta

This game already happened so I have to get it right! For realsies I picked this one before the game. I promise. Scout’s honor. Falcons 31 Jags 14

Dallas (-7) Tampa Bay

Wait a tick. Tampa Bay just lost by 27 points to Jacksonville. Yes, Jacksonville. Cowboys 28 Bucs 16

Green Bay (-13.5) Kansas City

The Packers will go 16-0. Unless they get all gay and bench their starters. Which also will make Vegas/me implode. Packers 34 Chiefs 13

Carolina (+6) Houston

Come on. T.J. Yates cannot keep winning games. It defies everything I was brought up on. Panthers 24 Texans 21

Seattle (+3.5) Chicago

See above, replace Yates with Hanie. Seahawks 17 Bears 13

New Orleans (-7) Minnesota

Gayest picture of the 2011-12 NFL season award goes to…….

Saints 27 Vikings 18

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NFL Picks: Week 14


Last Week
Spread: 4-12
Straight up: 8-8

Season
Spread: 93-90-9
Straight up: 127-65

To the millions……thousands….hundreds…ok fine….12 people who read this site, I apologize. 4-12 isn’t a good week. If you bet my picks (which no one ever, ever should do) your probably continuing to realize I have no clue what I am doing. My bad. On the bright side, I’m pretty sure I can do better. Only 3-13, 2-14, 1-15, or the dreaded goose egg could be worse. I think I’ll do better this week. But then again I say that every week. Oh well.

Cleveland (+14) Pittsburgh

Who wouldn’t trust the Steelers. I mean honestly, who doesn’t trust a rapist quarterback???? If the Steelers still had this man kicking the ball then I’d be really confident in them. Steelers 34 Browns 11

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DWI for Barnaby


"Hello my name is Matthew and im an alcoholic..."

Oh Matthew.  When are you going to learn?  Did all those blows to the head affect your cognitive decision making skills to the point that you thought driving around on 3 tires was a smart thing to do? Or was it because you were all wasted on Molson XXX and Canadian Club?  Either way this is surely the straw that will break the camel’s (ESPN’s) back when they can your ass sometime in the near future.  Cant say it is surprising.  You are and will always be a piece of shit.  Glad to see Michelle Beadle got wise to your act and dumped your degenerate ass.

NFL Picks: Week 13


Last Week
Straight up: 13-3
Spread: 11-5

Season
Straight up: 119-57
Spread: 89-78-9

Solid week 12 for the kid. I’ll take 11-5 any week. Sadly, most of my money ONCE AGAIN was on the New York fucking Jets. Sure they won, but they didn’t cover the spread so who cares!!!!!! Well, I kinda do since I had them in survivor, but anyway, could the scene below be the Jets???? Nick Nolte as Sexy Rexy and Tony as Mark?????? With all of Marky Mark’s terrible passes and their tremendous ability to never cover the spread I’m getting realllll sketched out at the New York Jets.

Video link since I’m too dumb to embed a video

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