Straight up: 12-4
Straight up: 139-69
Christmas season so these are gonna be quickies.
Jacksonville (+12.5) Atlanta
This game already happened so I have to get it right! For realsies I picked this one before the game. I promise. Scout’s honor. Falcons 31 Jags 14
Dallas (-7) Tampa Bay
Wait a tick. Tampa Bay just lost by 27 points to Jacksonville. Yes, Jacksonville. Cowboys 28 Bucs 16
Green Bay (-13.5) Kansas City
The Packers will go 16-0. Unless they get all gay and bench their starters. Which also will make Vegas/me implode. Packers 34 Chiefs 13
Carolina (+6) Houston
Come on. T.J. Yates cannot keep winning games. It defies everything I was brought up on. Panthers 24 Texans 21
Seattle (+3.5) Chicago
See above, replace Yates with Hanie. Seahawks 17 Bears 13
New Orleans (-7) Minnesota
Gayest picture of the 2011-12 NFL season award goes to…….
Saints 27 Vikings 18
Cincinnati (-6.5) St. Louis
Since when did Sam Bradford turn into the worst QB I’ve ever seen???? I watched the whole MNF game (only because I had money on it) and good God Bradford looks like a little school boy bitch out there. Bengals 23 Rams 10
Miami (-1) Buffalo
Can we start the #suckforBarkley campaign now? Bills 23 Dolphins 14
Tennessee (-6.5) Indianapolis
I’d say Indy has to win a game sooner or later, but they are one hor-awful team. Titans 23 Colts 13
Washington (+6.5) NY Giants
Everything about this game just screams trap. Thoughts Eli?
Hm. Okay. Giants 34 Redskins 26
Detroit (-1) Oakland
Hey let’s put two teams who love being stupid on the same field. I’m pretty sure the over/under on personal fouls is set around 14. However, it finally returns!!!
Ndamukongzilla will make a difference. Lions 40 Raiders 28
New England (-7.5) Denver
I had a vision the other day about why I’m picking the Patriots. If I were a reporter and I asked the two QB’s playing in this game how they plan on preparing for this game, this is how I envision their responses.
"What a great question!!!!!!! I'm going to read at least 150 verses from the bible and pray all Saturday night!"
"Me? Yeah, I'll go out Saturday night have 5 or 6 gin and tonics and try to slay the hottest bitch in the bar"
I trust Tom more. Pats 34 Broncos 20
Cleveland (+6.5) Arizona
Yawn. Cardinals 24 Browns 17
NY Jets (+3) Philadelphia
Timmy P’s survivor pick alert! Sadly, I have to take the dream team. I’m worried. Real worried. I just need this man to show up!
Eagles 24 Jets 20
Baltimore (-2.5) San Diego
Last time Baltimore did a funk west coast trip was against Seattle and they got absolutely slaughtered. The Chargers have won two straight games….but against Jacksonville/Buffalo….This spread is low only because of Baltimore’s blow up against Seattle. The Chargers aren’t good. However, I do kind of feel like the Admiral…
Traps aren’t fun, but I trust that Baltimore is going to put it to the Chargers. Terrell Suggs may have 14 sacks. Ravens 23 Chargers 14
Pittsburgh (+2.5) San Francisco
Big Ben on one foot is wayyyyyy better then a two footed Charlie Batch, but I don’t think it’s worth the Steelers to risk playing
the rapist Roethlisberger. It’s possible the Steelers defense could win the game on their own. 49ers 17 Steelers 13