90 on 95

Sports, rumors, and humor from the Ben Franklin to the George Washington

Monthly Archives: March 2012

Phillies Preview: The Pitchers


Wow how did I miss this gem???????

Glad I got the pitchers this year because the Phillies hitting right now is a downright mess. Luckily the Phillies still have a couple of guys who know how to throw the baseball. If they lose this ability….Well, the Phillies are fucked. The Phillies pitchers have to (and most likely will) carry this team once again. On to the previews.

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Monday Power Rankings


Great week of sports we just had guys. Chelsea FC doing the unthinkable, plenty of upsets in the charity tournament for the brain-destroying spring-centric disease, March Madness, and lot’s of hockey.

1. Semyon Varlamov

Lights out. That’s the best way to describe the play of Ninja Spider. 41 saves on St. Patricks Day at MSG? Unbelievable.  I was at that game and holy wow, some of those saves were mind bottling. Kid’s gotta whole lotta glove.

2. Walking Dead/East Bound and Down

I’ve been behind on the Walking Dead, pretty much since the end of the first half of the second season (ouch my head) when Rick shot that zombie kid. But apparently this second half has been balls and people are dying and zombies are eating brains and people are finding out clues about this whole infection. I don’t know, it’s just things started to get a little ridiculous, with plot holes (HOW DID SHANE AND THAT FAT GUY GET INTO THE SCHOOL!?!? DON’T GIVE ME A GOD DAMN JUMP CUT!) and the black guy is still called “T-Bone.” Then people go off and say “But no, this last episode, SAMURAI WIELDING ZOMBIE ASSASSIN!” Oh and here I was all worried that the series was getting too incredulous. Also, isn’t everyone a zombie assassin during the zombie apocalypse? I digress

What isn’t ridiculous is this season of East Bound and Down. From having hands down the best cold opens in television to the break through performance of Stevie Jankowski, this show is really having a strong final season. I hated seeing Shane go, but the reveal of a twin brother was classic stuff. I just really hope we get some Andy Daly back before series end. Also, Lily Tomlin is perfect for Kenny Powers mom.

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Phillies Preview: The Lineup


Good to see you too Chuck

Well it is that time of year again.  The snow is melting, the birds are chirping, Spring is in the air.  The crack of the bat and the snap of the glove legitimately arouses me.  I literally found myself watching a Mets/Nationals spring training game on TV the other night (I was also drinking).  Baseball season means a lot to the scribes on this particular website and we are going to do our damnedest to give you the most accurate preview of the two main squads (Yanks & Phillies) we will be complaining about.  We may even let Joe write something about the Marlins (doubtful).  So without further ado, here is our Phillies Lineup Preview.

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Sports Day, USA


This week has crazy potential for myself. Sort of like the New York Giants rolling into the playoffs, I’m firing on all cylinders. I had a gross week at work making money (I bartend, so I don’t actually make money. It would be dope to work at a Minting station.. Minting factory? I don’t know, to literally make money), and now I get to enjoy my two days off filled with sports sports SPORTS! This week will significantly decide the next month and a half of sports for myself, and whether you get Joe the Positive, Insightful Blogger, or Joe the Pessimistic, Downtrodden Blogger.

One Joe's medication is another Joe's celebration

It all starts today at 2:55 PM as my beloved Chelsea Blues take on Napoli in the second round of the the Champions League. It’s been a whirlwind season for the Blues, and as of right now they won’t qualify for the Tournament of Tournaments next year if they don’t pick up the points in their regular season, so today could be the last time they take on European competition for over a year. Napoli holds a 3-1 aggregate edge, but the Blues secured that all important away goal, so a 2-0 win at home and the good guys are on to the round of 8. If anyone in Fairfield County is reading this and lucky enough to have today off, I’ll be a Brennan’s Shebeen in Bridgeport, I’ll buy you a round.

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Peyton Manning


Please baby Jesus make it happen. Dick exploding? That would ben an understatement Joseph Auger. I love football, but the Dolphins absolutely sucking the past 10 years has made me say, “fuck you football”. Of course I love gambling on it and fantasy football but the actual rooting for a team part of it? Eh. However, that lovely young (by that I mean old as hell) gentlemen in the blue up there would instantly make me fall in love with the Dolphins again. Does it matter that his neck has potential to explode at any point???? Of course not it’s Peyton Fucking Manning! Let’s look at who has played quarterback for the Dolphins since the great #13 retired. Warning: You will probably not remember any of these people because every single one of them ABSOLUTELY SUCKED when on the Dolphins.

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Thursday Power Rankings (3/8/2012)


Let’s ignore where I’ve been and let’s get to where I’m going!

1. Peyton Manning

While the big guy got royally screwed in my opinion by the Indianapolis Colts, he’s got to stay positive and remember that he’s the prettiest girl at the ball and every guy there wants to sleep with him. Especially Jake Roberts. Peyton hasn’t made a decision as to where he wants to play football next but the biggest attractions would be Miami, Arizona, Washington or Seattle.  I think it’ll be a go for Miami (that sound you just heard was TimmyP’s dick exploding) but with this guy you never know. I know money rules all but I think Peyton Manning wants to win, and Miami may not be the best place for that. I just can’t wait till next year when Andrew Luck is throwing passes out of bounds as the Colts stumble towards another lottery pick. Hope you guys enjoyed the top while you were up there.

2. Playoff Hockey

OOOOOHHHH BAAAAAABY. Things are really heating up in the Western Conference as 5 teams struggle for ultimately the last 2 spots (+ the Pacific Division winner). The Dallas Stars have become seemingly unbeatable, the San Jose Sharks are trolling everybody right now, Phoenix is still a hockey team and the LA Kings are doing there best to not make the playoffs. But the real story is the Colorado Avalanche. Arguably the winners of the trade deadline (Steve Downie and Jamie McGinn have instantly made impacts whereas TJ Galiardi is riding pine in San Jose, Winnick is basically invisible as well and Kyle Quincey plays hockey in Detroit) the Avs are clicking right now, winners of 5 of their past 7 and if it wasn’t for all those fucking teams winning ahead of them they’d be in the second season for sure. March is essentially a month of playoff hockey for all the teams I mentioned above. So if you’ve got the Center Ice Package or you stop by NBC Sports by accident and any of these teams are playing you may want to check it out.

3. Jeremy Lin

Just kidding. They really cooled off on that shit, huh?

The rest of the rankings, after the jump.  Read more of this post

Holy Shit It’s Almost Baseball Season: 5 Phillies Questions


So I haven’t written a word on this site since my tremendous Super Bowl Preview. While it may have been a greatly crafted article, my prediction was not so great. That post was done over a month ago and after some encouragement from Captain Dan  I realized it’s time to get back to work.

Last recap why I haven’t written anything:

– For the most part I spent all my time watching all five seasons of the Wire. If you haven’t watched it get the fuck on that. Amazingly good.

Oh shit it's Omar

– I slept.

– I drank.

– I drove to work and talked to people about how amazing the iPhone was for 9 hours a day.

– I tried to talk myself into believing the Sixers actually had a chance at making a run into the playoffs. Then I realized they’d have to beat the Heat and/or Bulls. Waste of my time.

Beaker. He's managed to make Sam Bowie look like the greatest #2 pick ever.

– Lastly I’ve watched the Devils (Yes, hockey is still a sport in this country). They’ve been good/bad/good/bad/good/good/bad/bad/good. I don’t know what the hell to expect from them, but I think they are kinda good.

Despite all this excitement in my amazing life, I’m looking forward to a month from now. Sure I’ll still sleep, drink, and talk about the iPhone, but Phillies baseball will finally be back. THANK YOU GOD. Sure I love watching the Sixers and sure I think the Devils are decent, but honestly life without baseball is very, very depressing.

I’ll jump right into the Phillies since I really don’t give a fuck any other team in the MLB.

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