Please baby Jesus make it happen. Dick exploding? That would ben an understatement Joseph Auger. I love football, but the Dolphins absolutely sucking the past 10 years has made me say, “fuck you football”. Of course I love gambling on it and fantasy football but the actual rooting for a team part of it? Eh. However, that lovely young (by that I mean old as hell) gentlemen in the blue up there would instantly make me fall in love with the Dolphins again. Does it matter that his neck has potential to explode at any point???? Of course not it’s Peyton Fucking Manning! Let’s look at who has played quarterback for the Dolphins since the great #13 retired. Warning: You will probably not remember any of these people because every single one of them ABSOLUTELY SUCKED when on the Dolphins.
Jay "I look like an Elf" Fiedler
Cleo Lemon....He was so incredibly terrible and who the fuck named him Cleo Lemon. Terrible name choice.
Joey Harrington aka the definition of pussy.
No, not Ilya Bryzgalov that's Chad Henne. Again, pure shit in terms of Quarterback.
I know, it’s weird that I like the Dolphins. I blame my dad for liking the Jets (BTW, another horrible team) and in turn I liked Dan Marino and went against my Dad…So hipster of me. I’d love to like another team, but I’ve remained loyal to the Dolphins since I’m not a front-running slut of a fan.
I really think the Dolphins are going to sign Manning. He’s old, has an apartment in Miami and will bring his buddy Reggie Wayne with him for one last run at glory…..Or a broken neck.