90 on 95

Sports, rumors, and humor from the Ben Franklin to the George Washington

Shit That has happened since I Last Posted


Shit...Got...Weird

Shit…Got…Weird

 

Well well well…..it has been quite a while since I have had the motivation to write anything in this space and I really don’t have any excuses except that I am lazy as a sloth.  Just to bring you up to speed here are a few of the highlights/lowlights in my life since my last post on March 13th 2012.

Chase Utley and Ryan Howard missed half a season

Cole Hamels Made a lot of money

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Phillies Preview: The Lineup


Good to see you too Chuck

Well it is that time of year again.  The snow is melting, the birds are chirping, Spring is in the air.  The crack of the bat and the snap of the glove legitimately arouses me.  I literally found myself watching a Mets/Nationals spring training game on TV the other night (I was also drinking).  Baseball season means a lot to the scribes on this particular website and we are going to do our damnedest to give you the most accurate preview of the two main squads (Yanks & Phillies) we will be complaining about.  We may even let Joe write something about the Marlins (doubtful).  So without further ado, here is our Phillies Lineup Preview.

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A-Rod Just GETS it


Gotta Love that Yankee Mystique

 

I wonder if Alex requested his picture taken in a bathroom.  He probably feels comfortable in a men’s bathroom wearing his snazzy Yankee uniform snapping pics.  I bet he brought his own photographer to accentuate his frosted tips.  Jesus, that would almost be as pretentious as bringing your own food to a restaurant and asking them to heat it up for you.  Which he also did.

This picture is just TOOO good not to use

Oil Can Boyd liked the party powder


For some reason a man named “Oil Can” using blow while in the MLB doesn’t surprise me.  Hey it was the 80’s!

Goodbye Mr. Perfect


High Hopes Fulfilled

 

It takes a lot for me to come out and write a post anymore, considering how awful/stupid I feel for actually thinking the Eagles might be good this year.  But one thing that will bring the Rick Reilly “Homecoming” emotions out of me is another team signing a guy like Brad Lidge.  The Phil’s decided that 1 year 1 million dollars was just too much to bring back, in my opinion, one of the most important Philadelphia athletes in the last 30 years.  Overstatement?  Maybe, but I doubt it.

Brad Lidge threw the pitch that lifted 100 seasons of frustration, torment, anger, helplessness off the city of Philadelphia, and started an era of Phillies baseball that has been unprecedented.  Lidge was 48 for 48 that season in save opportunities.  The only game that he lost?  The All-Star Game in which the American League won thus ensuring them home field in the World Series.  The irony of that is, that if he would have won that game for the National League, the Phils would have celebrated their championship in Tampa Bay instead of South Philly on that cold fall night.  So Lidge’s only hiccup that year paved the way for one of the craziest parties Philly has ever thrown.  I still get choked up thinking about that night and how perfect it was.  Harry Kalas, the legendary Phillies announcer, had never gotten to call the last out of the World Series.  That night allowed him to put the icing on the cake of a Hall of Fame career before he tragically passed away the following year.  It was a story book ending to fairy tale year that I will never forget.  I still have that picture of him dropping to his knees looking into the sky hanging in my office, and undoubtedly it will never move.  So thanks Brad, for the good times, and the bad.  Because without both, we would never be able to appreciate how great 2008 really was.

DWI for Barnaby


"Hello my name is Matthew and im an alcoholic..."

Oh Matthew.  When are you going to learn?  Did all those blows to the head affect your cognitive decision making skills to the point that you thought driving around on 3 tires was a smart thing to do? Or was it because you were all wasted on Molson XXX and Canadian Club?  Either way this is surely the straw that will break the camel’s (ESPN’s) back when they can your ass sometime in the near future.  Cant say it is surprising.  You are and will always be a piece of shit.  Glad to see Michelle Beadle got wise to your act and dumped your degenerate ass.

Phils Sign Papelbon


I should be excited I guess.  We locked up one of the best closers in the game to a long term contract basically for the same amount that we paid Brad Lidge to rehab his shoulder/knee/elbow/ego the last three years.  Ruben and the rest of the front office basically decided that they were not going to pay close to 50 million dollars to Ryan Madson to become the closer, based on less than one solid year of doing the job.  While Madson was tremendous this year, he doesnt have the history that Papelbon has, and when you are shelling out 50 million to someone, it better be a sure thing.

Ok...maybe i could root for this guy

I have to say this one is a little tough to swallow for me.  Madson was easily one of my favorites on this team.  I got an opportunity to go to spring training this year and sat in the berm in the outfield near the Phillies bullpen.  He was in there cracking jokes, signing autographs and basically being the all around good guy that everyone had grown to love over the course of his career in Philly.  Not that this helped him win games, but its always nice to have someone on your team who is a nasty reliever and good person to boot.  I will always remember the 2008 run to the title when he seemingly gained about 5mph on his fastball.  He was the bridge to Lidge and he did a damn good job of it.  His new found dominance was one of the key aspects to why the Phils won it all that year.

Now I have to root for a guy that i made a living making fun of for about 5 years.  I hated the stupid dance he did in the World Series.  I hated “Shippin up to Boston.”  I hated how long it took for him to throw a pitch.  I loved when he blew the Red Sox season this year.

I can only hope he has the right frame of mind to change his entrance song.  Which is about 50% of the reason i either like a closer or hate him.  One of Madson’s weaknesses was his entrance music of “Dont Stop Believin” by Journey, which was corny as hell.  Lidge had some crazy heavy metal which is par for the course in the world of closers.  I have a few suggestions for Jonathan that may help him endear himself to the Philly Faithful.

Suggestions after the Jump

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The Shit List


So I haven’t been doing a whole lot of blogging recently for a few reasons.  One being that my soul is still crushed from the Phillies losing to the Cardinals in the playoffs.  Yeah I know it was over a month ago, but to be honest with you its going to continue to piss me off until A. I either die or B. the Phillies win the World Series very soon.  So being the depressed curmudgeon that I am nowadays, I am going to debut a new series of posts that are sure to remind you just how much things suck.

 

1.The Eagles

It happens every year.  Team starts slow, people want Andy Reid fired, Jon Gruden’s name keeps popping up.  Then they go on a little run, start playing tough, hard nosed football and win some big games in December.  They do just enough to suck you back onto that bandwagon.  Then you know what happens?  The playoffs come and Andy inexplicably forgets how to use timeouts/challenges, starts busting out his idiotic repertoire of trick plays, and looks as confused as Jerry Sandusky in his mug shot.  You know what Andy!? Not this year!  ::checks Eagles schedule….realizes we could win our next 5 games….starts crying::

 

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Big Willie Style


NA NA NA NA NANANA NA NA NA NA NANA

The sale of the Philadelphia 76ers went through yesterday and today they had a press conference to announce the list of owners and changes that they are planning to make.  First off they fired that hack of a General Manger Ed Stefanski (The guy that signed Elton Brand to probably the most un-tradeable contract of all time) slashed 9000 ticket prices almost in half and started a website that will help Sixers fans give feedback on how and what direction they would like the franchise to go.

 

But lets be serious, all of that news pales in comparison to the bomb that was dropped during the press conference.  Will and Jada Smith with be minority share owners of the team.  ARE U EFF’N KIDDING ME BIG WILLIE STYLE!?!?! The Fresh Prince and HawthoRNe!  Agent J and Niobe!  I might actually care about basketball again.  I hope this leads to Rap battles between Jay -Z and WILLenium before Nets/Sixers games to hype the crowd.  Get pumped Philly,  this might actually make the Sixers fun to watch again.

Awesomeness after the jump

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The “Genius” Does it Again


This is what happens when you mistake Pujols' HGH shot for your Botox Tony

So the Cardinals will be representing the NL in this years World Series.  Not that I give a shit.  My baseball fandom for the year died shortly after Ryan Howard’s Achilles exploded.  I was nervous to play the Cardinals all along.  Anyone that said “Oh it doesnt matter who we play, the best team always wins” is a idiot ::hanging my head in shame::.  If you have a chance to literally pick your opponent in the playoffs and that opponent would have been the fucking Diamondbacks, why don’t you do this?!?!?!  AHHHH it still infuriates me.  No, we had to play Albert Pujols, Lance Berkman, Matt Holiday, Chris Carpenter, as well as Rafael Furcal who is rocketing up my list of most hated athletes.

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