90 on 95

Sports, rumors, and humor from the Ben Franklin to the George Washington

Category Archives: NHL

Russia over USA………Really Ilya?

Wrong flag Kovy

Going into the 2011-12 NHL season things weren’t looking great for the New Jersey Devils. Like many people who follow the Devils I was concerned they’d do their standard solid regular season then duck out in the playoffs like they’d done for the past six seasons. There were many, many questions:

  • Is this Marty’s last ride?
  • Is Zach going to re-sign once the season ends or ditch the Devils for milllllllions of dollars?
  • Will Travis Zajac ever play?
  • Can I name a single defensemen they have?
  • Is this new coach Pete DeBoer an NHL head coach or is it just a front for him being a serial killer? (Still think he is a serial killer, guy is really creepy…and never blinks)
  • But the main question was always, Is this goddamn Russian guy the Devils are paying $101 million going to lead us to a Cup?

All those questions going into the year really made me think the Devils were going to sink really, really quickly.

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NHL 2011-12 Season Preview (EASTERN CONFERENCE)

Before we get down to the nitty gritty, I probably owe you guys some sort of apology. I sort of went AWOL after entry four in my “So You’ve Decided to Buy a New Jersey” and found myself lacking the creative drive to keep blogging. It didn’t help that baseball is probably more boring than deciding which kind of milk to buy, and Papa Bear has a strict “No Soccer Posts” rule. So for a month I found myself wandering around the internet aimlessly, lost in it’s sea of cat videos and nipple slips. But like a Phoenix, all I needed was a little fire to kick start this engine. Papa Bear figured out how to use his twitter (effectively), Captain Dan started texting me all of Jaromir Jagr’s recent moves that I fear he may actually be stalking the Czech Native, and TimmyP and myself started battling in NHL12 (one word review: fuckingawesome) that I found myself wanting to get back on that horse and start blogging. Oh and Papa Bear sent me a text that if I don’t write anything soon he’s going to kick me off the payroll (McDonalds coupons.) And hockey’s back guys. HOCKEY!

Team previews, playoff predictions, and players to watch, after the jump.

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Yeah I Think Jaromir Might enjoy playing with Claude….

So I’m going to do everything in my power not to talk about the Eagles/Giants debacle this past weekend, and what better way to start it off by talking about the results of a preseason NHL Game!

::Borat Voice:: "I LIKE YOU!"

Last night on the heels of the much anticipated announcement of the 2012 Winter Classic being held at Citizens Bank Park, the Flyers and Rangers took part in some pre-season puck.  I have to be honest, I was one of the first people to question the off season moves of Jeff Carter and Mike Richards, two of the most productive players in the Orange and Black’s recent history.  Not only were they productive, they were two of my favorite players who I loved rooting for.  But this is a business and it is the way things go sometimes (god GM’s around the world have brainwashed me).  Not only did they give up two of my faves, they acquired two of my LEAST favorites in Jaromir Jagr and agitator Max Talbot.  First of all, I thought Jagr had retired to some Russian Gulag to spend his latter days drinking Stolichyna and gambling away his life savings with Russian prostitutes all around (rash generalization).  Little did I know that he was actually tearing it up in the KHL, working out like a fiend, all while finding God.  Well it paid off.

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Sean Avery Beat Up a Cop. (Not Really)

"Which makes me look like more of a douche, the jersey or the glasses?"

August is by far the worst month to be a hockey fan. (Unless you’re an Islanders fan, where every month sucks.) Free agency has pretty much died down and most of  the signings are either arbitration hearings or bargain pick ups. We still have a little over a month before most training camps open and the preseason starts in mid-September. So for a hockey story to break the news, or even appear on the Monolith, it’s going to have to be something eye-catching. And nothing screams “eye-catching” more than a story with Sean Avery and a police altercation.

Rangers forward Sean Avery was arrested in Los Angeles around 1 a.m. on Friday on a misdemeanor charge of battery on a police officer, the Los Angeles Police Department said.

The Los Angeles Times said Avery, 31, argued with the police officers before pushing one and slamming the door. Following the confrontation, additional officers were called to the home and Avery was taken into custody, the newspaper reported. TMZ said Avery was held overnight, with bail set at $20,000. (via)

When asked for comment, resident Rags fan Papa Bear was quoted as saying, “Shut up Joe, hockey sucks.”

While it may comes as a surprise to some, Sean Avery is not that much of a wild soul. Most of the shit he gets hate for is the nauseating way he acts on the ice (and in the locker room.) For the most part, off the ice Avery is sort of an upstanding citizen in the NHL world. He isn’t out drinking and punching cabbies (Patrick Kane). He isn’t telling a live television audience that even though he’s 19 he was drunk on vodka last night (Matt Duchene). He isn’t assaulting his ex-wife and tarnishing the name of my own personal Goddess, Michelle Beadle (Matt Barnaby). Fun fact, I love all three of those players.

No Sean Avery is not that bad of a guy sans ice, just doing normal hockey player stuff, like interning at Vogue. Hell he came out a few months ago and down right supported homosexuals in hockey. If hockey can say “hey you’re gay but it’s cool” they can open themselves up to a whole new market, and can become the model sports league for the next few decades. If you don’t think that’s a big deal, you’re name is probably Kobe Bryant.

A JJA rant, after the jump. Read more of this post

The Daily Drive – 6/30/2011

The Daily Drive is a daily (for lack of a better word) post of all the prominent things going on in the sports world we didn’t cover, and anything else we might want to share with you. Don’t expect any posts after Friday if Papa Bear doesn’t pay us. WE. DECLARE. LOCKOUT!

-As if my summer couldn’t get any better, the NBA and the NBAPA have not reached a labor agreement, and therefore will begin a lockout starting tomorrow. That sound you hear is Bill Simmons car running in the garage.

-Speaking of panic, Cole Hamels was injured in today’s loss to the Boston Red Sox. Good news for the Philadelphia Phillies: Brad Lidge has begun to make his way back to the mound. Also good for the Phils: You’re in the same division as the Florida Marlins, New York Mets and Washington Nationals. Ease up.

-Let’s just get all this Philadelphia talk out of the way early. Lot’s of talk about the Philadelphia Flyers thinking of presenting an offer sheet to Steven Stamkos. Puck Daddy breaks down all the likely scenarios. Spoiler Alert Flyer Faithful: He will resign in Tampa.

-Free Agency starts tomorrow for the NHL, and the Flyers could see some players leaving, such as Ville Leino (hopefully to the Avs.) One guy not on the market: Paul Kariya announced his retirement yesterday. Always one of my favorites in the early days of the NHL video game series.  (That link will bring you to a Canadian website. Act accordingly.)

New York Mets are on a roll, Derek Jeter is on his way back, and Charlie Sheen did steroids. Yawn. After the Jump. Read more of this post

The Daily Drive – 6/27/2011

The Daily Drive is a daily (when we feel like it) post of all the prominent things going on in the sports world we didn’t cover, and anything else we might want to share with you. Like how sad it is that people love nipple slips. I find a picture of a nice celebrity smiling for the paparazzi enjoying her life….and she is unaware her boobie is hanging out…Those rude paparazzi. (Kidding. They are the best people ever, I love a good slip)

Both Serena and Venus Williams lost at Wimbledon. Who cares? Well no one because it’s women’s sports, but we love hits at 90on95.com and apparently people on google are searching for it! Venus and Serena were so upset with their loses they had a backyard brawl to cheer themselves up.

– Slow day in sports unless you care about women’s soccer or tennis, but tomorrow two big interleague series start, both possible World Series previews. The Brewers travel to Yankee Stadium while the Phillies welcome Boston into the bank. We’ll have some previews tomorrow, but these teams could be the final four come October.

– The NHL draft was this weekend. The big news out of the draft is that the Winnipeg Jets are back. Glad to see Canada getting more hockey teams, it’s only a matter of time until the Bill Simmons plan of 15 teams in the USA and 15 in Canada comes true, then there will be a riot every year!

– Is it sad that is the only sports news that I could come up? It’s that time of the year I guess. However, they crowned the ugliest dog in world yesterday. Thrilling stuff.

– Lucy Pinder (if you don’t know her click more immediately) and some other stuff after the jump shot.

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Its always tough to say goodbye

Well Ilya Bryzgalov might be remembered for the guy that finally brought the cup back to Philly, or the guy that got our leading scorer (Jeff Carter) and our Captain (Mike Richards) traded away.  It is clear that Paul Holmgren felt he needed to do something drastic to make this team a contender.  Here’s the thing: I’m calling bullshit.  I can understand why you would trade carter (I guess) but WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU TRADE THE HEART AND SOUL OF THE WHOLE FUCKING TEAM!?!?!?!  Yeah maybe Richards had a salty attitude towards the media and Coach Peter Laviolette (allegedly) but it still doesn’t make any sense.  Maybe Homer thought since the two were such good friends if he traded one of them, he would have lost the other completely.  I’m gonna call double bullshit on that one.  These guys are Professionals.  Trades happen, friends leave teams, people and franchises move on.  I just don’t see a reason why he had to go.


The only thing that I can take away from this is that the 2011-2012 flyers are going to be missing a lot of what made me love the team.  I assume this means Pronger gets the C, and I cant believe im typing this, but Scott Hartnell becomes a veteran leader.  Shocking day for the Orange and Black.  Carts and Richie will be missed.

You better be the second coming of Bernie

The Daily Drive – 6/18/2011

The Daily Drive is a daily (for the most part, except when drugos/alcohol gets in the way) post of all the prominent things going on in the sports world we didn’t cover, and anything else we might want to share with you. Yeah it’s the weekend, but I have some things to talk about. I mean the drive has been done by Poppa Bear, Captain Dan, Daft Puck this week already and well I want a turn with her….the drive is officially turning into the town whore.

– The Phillies lost to the Mariners last night. The game was over past my bedtime, but I stayed up cause I’m a tough motherfucker. Anyway now they face Felix Hernandez…hold off on hitting season there Captain Dan.

– Our friends from the Bronx lost to the hopeless Chicago Cubs. Doug Davis was 0-5 with an ERA near 6 entering the start, but he shut down the powerful Yankees offense. I tried to come up with a clever joke to make fun of the Yankees, but the Cubs are just so terrible it was pointless.  Carlos Marmol acted like he just won the World Series after getting the final out, once again God just hates Cubs fans there is no way around it.

– Barack Obama played golf with a bunch of other politicians this morning. He’ a 17 handicap. Who cares if he was the President when we killed Bin Laden I want a President who can stick a 4 iron from 235 out. 

– More after the jumper

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B is for Bandwagon

The Fair-Weather Fans of Foul-Weathered Boston

The only Bruins jersey I'd ever seen before last week. Let em' have it Bob.

First off: I’d like to state for the record that both the NHL and NBA play-offs are entirely too long, rendering the regular season into a preposterously bloated waste of time. That said, I’d also like to get this off my chest: Fuck the Bruins.

For some ungodly reason—and to the dismay of all well-intentioned sports fans elsewhere—Boston sports have had an unprecedented string of good luck in the sporting domain over the past decade. While this recent success has served to inflate the average New Englander’s perverted sense of self-worth far beyond levels traditionally accepted by the decent, God-fearing majority, to the well-trained eye it fails to cover up the grimy truth:  Boston fans are about as loyal as a crack-whore at a roller derby.

Trust me.

Since when did the Bruins have an established fan base? Other than a few errant and poorly timed text messages last spring (before the Flyers proceeded to pull out one of the greatest comebacks in NHL play-off history), this spring season was the first I’ve really ever heard of the strange group of hockey playing ruffians known as the B’s.  Nobody so much as breathed their name during my four years of college.  Sure you got your standard alcoholics and unemployed street mongrels that constitute the majority of the NHL target demographic, but outside of that strange and sordid inner circle the Bruins were a non-entity. They were like a poor bastard wounded in battle and left to behind to die at the hands of a savage enemy. Unspoken of. But now that they’ve got the cup there are vendors on the streets selling puke colored jerseys so that woodworked multitudes can look good and stylish for Saturday’s victory parade. Suddenly it seems that everyone’s a fan.

And this should come as no surprise really, though it still justifies a generous degree of bitter derision. It must be pointed out that despite the delusional grandeur attribute to their beloved Celtics, the first Celtics jersey I ever saw during my time in Boston said ‘Garnett’ on the back. This is a city that either rooted tepidly for the Giants or didn’t much care about football until about a decade ago when that expansion team of theirs started winning games. And don’t let them fool you about the Red Sox either.  Though they may bemoan the hard-luck times of their junior league joke-squad, the fans are a bunch of day-gamers who usually bounce by the seventh inning.  Fenway’s more of a business-meeting destination than a ballpark—a boardroom for geriatrics and Jesus freaks. There’s no tailgating, no nitrous, and no Cadillac time.

So if the Boston beat’s got you down this week and you’re thinking about mindless destruction—I’m talking to you Vancouver—just remember sporting success is cyclical. As soon as their teams trend south those Boston fans will drift off once again into obscure oblivion. Until then we can only hope it rains on the gay parade tomorrow just like it did on the gay parade last Saturday.

Oh yeah, and that was a clean hit on Horton…he’s just a bitch.

Boston: Sports City of the Decade?

Who told Zdeno there was candy in the Stanley Cup?

Last night’s Game 7 between the Boston Bruins and Vancouver Canucks was fantastic to start, but leaned a little lopsided towards the ended. The refs let everyone play and kept the whistles in their pockets, and the game had a strong flow for at least the first 2 periods. Ultimately, the Bruins found the better of goalie Roberto Luongo, and Boston keeper Tim Thomas played well to earn himself  the shutout, and the Conn Smythe trophy. Conn Smythe is, of course, the 17th president in Canadian history. Give me six goods seconds of puck clips, ESPN!

After 39 years without a championship, the Bruins ripped the Cup — and several thousand hearts — out of a Canadian city that has waited four decades itself for one sip.

Thomas was just too good, and the Bruins are the NHL’s best. (via ESPN)

Said an ESPN exec. in regards to the Bruins winning the Cup, “MOAR CROZBY PLZ THNX!”

While there are plenty of story lines to absorb in the wake of the Bruins win (Vancouver’s/Luongo’s collapse, Thomas becoming elite goalie, Boston shutting down the Sedins), the biggest story isn’t about the team on the ice, but the city itself. Does this win solidify Boston as sports city of the decade?

Answer, after the jump. Read more of this post

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