90 on 95

Sports, rumors, and humor from the Ben Franklin to the George Washington

Category Archives: Philadelphia Phillies

Shit That has happened since I Last Posted


Shit...Got...Weird

Shit…Got…Weird

 

Well well well…..it has been quite a while since I have had the motivation to write anything in this space and I really don’t have any excuses except that I am lazy as a sloth.  Just to bring you up to speed here are a few of the highlights/lowlights in my life since my last post on March 13th 2012.

Chase Utley and Ryan Howard missed half a season

Cole Hamels Made a lot of money

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Phillies Preview: The Pitchers


Wow how did I miss this gem???????

Glad I got the pitchers this year because the Phillies hitting right now is a downright mess. Luckily the Phillies still have a couple of guys who know how to throw the baseball. If they lose this ability….Well, the Phillies are fucked. The Phillies pitchers have to (and most likely will) carry this team once again. On to the previews.

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Phillies Preview: The Lineup


Good to see you too Chuck

Well it is that time of year again.  The snow is melting, the birds are chirping, Spring is in the air.  The crack of the bat and the snap of the glove legitimately arouses me.  I literally found myself watching a Mets/Nationals spring training game on TV the other night (I was also drinking).  Baseball season means a lot to the scribes on this particular website and we are going to do our damnedest to give you the most accurate preview of the two main squads (Yanks & Phillies) we will be complaining about.  We may even let Joe write something about the Marlins (doubtful).  So without further ado, here is our Phillies Lineup Preview.

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Holy Shit It’s Almost Baseball Season: 5 Phillies Questions


So I haven’t written a word on this site since my tremendous Super Bowl Preview. While it may have been a greatly crafted article, my prediction was not so great. That post was done over a month ago and after some encouragement from Captain Dan  I realized it’s time to get back to work.

Last recap why I haven’t written anything:

– For the most part I spent all my time watching all five seasons of the Wire. If you haven’t watched it get the fuck on that. Amazingly good.

Oh shit it's Omar

– I slept.

– I drank.

– I drove to work and talked to people about how amazing the iPhone was for 9 hours a day.

– I tried to talk myself into believing the Sixers actually had a chance at making a run into the playoffs. Then I realized they’d have to beat the Heat and/or Bulls. Waste of my time.

Beaker. He's managed to make Sam Bowie look like the greatest #2 pick ever.

– Lastly I’ve watched the Devils (Yes, hockey is still a sport in this country). They’ve been good/bad/good/bad/good/good/bad/bad/good. I don’t know what the hell to expect from them, but I think they are kinda good.

Despite all this excitement in my amazing life, I’m looking forward to a month from now. Sure I’ll still sleep, drink, and talk about the iPhone, but Phillies baseball will finally be back. THANK YOU GOD. Sure I love watching the Sixers and sure I think the Devils are decent, but honestly life without baseball is very, very depressing.

I’ll jump right into the Phillies since I really don’t give a fuck any other team in the MLB.

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Goodbye Mr. Perfect


High Hopes Fulfilled

 

It takes a lot for me to come out and write a post anymore, considering how awful/stupid I feel for actually thinking the Eagles might be good this year.  But one thing that will bring the Rick Reilly “Homecoming” emotions out of me is another team signing a guy like Brad Lidge.  The Phil’s decided that 1 year 1 million dollars was just too much to bring back, in my opinion, one of the most important Philadelphia athletes in the last 30 years.  Overstatement?  Maybe, but I doubt it.

Brad Lidge threw the pitch that lifted 100 seasons of frustration, torment, anger, helplessness off the city of Philadelphia, and started an era of Phillies baseball that has been unprecedented.  Lidge was 48 for 48 that season in save opportunities.  The only game that he lost?  The All-Star Game in which the American League won thus ensuring them home field in the World Series.  The irony of that is, that if he would have won that game for the National League, the Phils would have celebrated their championship in Tampa Bay instead of South Philly on that cold fall night.  So Lidge’s only hiccup that year paved the way for one of the craziest parties Philly has ever thrown.  I still get choked up thinking about that night and how perfect it was.  Harry Kalas, the legendary Phillies announcer, had never gotten to call the last out of the World Series.  That night allowed him to put the icing on the cake of a Hall of Fame career before he tragically passed away the following year.  It was a story book ending to fairy tale year that I will never forget.  I still have that picture of him dropping to his knees looking into the sky hanging in my office, and undoubtedly it will never move.  So thanks Brad, for the good times, and the bad.  Because without both, we would never be able to appreciate how great 2008 really was.

Papelbon………….I think I like it…Actually, I have no choice but to like it


After talking with/reading Captain Dan’s post I figured I needed to throw my two cents in on the signing of Papelbon. I’m still not over the loss against the Cardinals, nor will I be until the first pitch of 2012 is thrown. However, this signing has made get over the loss….for at least couple of days. Here are my feelings/questions that ran through my mind when I heard the news.

– Thought Number 1: FUCK!!!!!! MADSON WAS CHEAPER!!!!!!

True. Can’t argue that the Phillies overpaid for Papelbon. It’s hard to justify paying over $50 million for a guy who wont pitch more than 90 innings in any of the 4/5 seasons that he plays for the Phillies. However, RAJ is paying for the best. Mariano Rivera only has a couple of years left at the most and who else has had the success Papelbon has had? If you ask ANYONE who they think the top three closers in baseball are right now, 97% of them will say Mariano Rivera, Jonathan Papelbon..then they’ll go..ummm…uhhhh. (Insert Heath Bell, Neftali Feliz, Brian Wilson, Joakim Soria, “sexy” closer of the month). Point is, Papelbon is proven. When you think the best you think him or Rivera….not Ryan Madson.

– Follow up thought on the last sentence: BUT MADSON HAS BEEN ON THE PHILLIES FOREVER!!!!! HE WAS NASTY THE PAST TWO YEARS!!!

Once again, true. It will be very weird not having Ryan Madson on the Phillies since he has been on the team for the past 9 years. But once again with this new winning mentality that has taken over Philadelphia, we want and have been getting “The Best” players in baseball. Could Ryan Madson be better over the next four years? Possibly. Both players will be 31 going into next season, but again I throw around the PROVEN word. I’ll take the guy who’s been closing for six years versus the guy who’s been doing it for under a year.

– Thought Number 2: PAPELBON IS A DICK. DOUCHE. FAG. ::INSERT ANY DEROGATORY TERM I USE TO CALL PAPELBON FOR THE PAST SIX SEASONS RIGHT HERE::

Pictue Evidence Below.

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Phils Sign Papelbon


I should be excited I guess.  We locked up one of the best closers in the game to a long term contract basically for the same amount that we paid Brad Lidge to rehab his shoulder/knee/elbow/ego the last three years.  Ruben and the rest of the front office basically decided that they were not going to pay close to 50 million dollars to Ryan Madson to become the closer, based on less than one solid year of doing the job.  While Madson was tremendous this year, he doesnt have the history that Papelbon has, and when you are shelling out 50 million to someone, it better be a sure thing.

Ok...maybe i could root for this guy

I have to say this one is a little tough to swallow for me.  Madson was easily one of my favorites on this team.  I got an opportunity to go to spring training this year and sat in the berm in the outfield near the Phillies bullpen.  He was in there cracking jokes, signing autographs and basically being the all around good guy that everyone had grown to love over the course of his career in Philly.  Not that this helped him win games, but its always nice to have someone on your team who is a nasty reliever and good person to boot.  I will always remember the 2008 run to the title when he seemingly gained about 5mph on his fastball.  He was the bridge to Lidge and he did a damn good job of it.  His new found dominance was one of the key aspects to why the Phils won it all that year.

Now I have to root for a guy that i made a living making fun of for about 5 years.  I hated the stupid dance he did in the World Series.  I hated “Shippin up to Boston.”  I hated how long it took for him to throw a pitch.  I loved when he blew the Red Sox season this year.

I can only hope he has the right frame of mind to change his entrance song.  Which is about 50% of the reason i either like a closer or hate him.  One of Madson’s weaknesses was his entrance music of “Dont Stop Believin” by Journey, which was corny as hell.  Lidge had some crazy heavy metal which is par for the course in the world of closers.  I have a few suggestions for Jonathan that may help him endear himself to the Philly Faithful.

Suggestions after the Jump

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The “Genius” Does it Again


This is what happens when you mistake Pujols' HGH shot for your Botox Tony

So the Cardinals will be representing the NL in this years World Series.  Not that I give a shit.  My baseball fandom for the year died shortly after Ryan Howard’s Achilles exploded.  I was nervous to play the Cardinals all along.  Anyone that said “Oh it doesnt matter who we play, the best team always wins” is a idiot ::hanging my head in shame::.  If you have a chance to literally pick your opponent in the playoffs and that opponent would have been the fucking Diamondbacks, why don’t you do this?!?!?!  AHHHH it still infuriates me.  No, we had to play Albert Pujols, Lance Berkman, Matt Holiday, Chris Carpenter, as well as Rafael Furcal who is rocketing up my list of most hated athletes.

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Game 5


As I watched Alex Rodriguez strike out to close the book on the Yankess 2011 campaign last night, i felt a eerie sense of caution.  Normally i would have howled with delight that my least favorite player had just blown the season (twice…K with the bases loaded a few innings before).  Normally I would be giving faux masturbatory motions towards all Yankee fans within 5 miles.  Normally I would have sent arrogant text messages to all of my Yankee fan friends illuminating that the reason A-Rod failed was because he missed Kate Hudson and her strap on.  This didn’t happen though for a variety of reasons.  The most important being that I am a nervous wreck.

"Yeah we dont know what you were thinking either Penny Lane"

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Wow.


Wow. What a night for both the Phillies and the Yankees. Can’t really put into words how nervous both the collective fan bases were last night, but I had at least 2 and a half heart attacks I think. AJ Burnett? Props. Benny Fresh? You sly dog.

"Um Benny Fresh on the podium? Is the world ending?"

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