90 on 95

Sports, rumors, and humor from the Ben Franklin to the George Washington

Tag Archives: Baseball

Phillies Preview: The Pitchers


Wow how did I miss this gem???????

Glad I got the pitchers this year because the Phillies hitting right now is a downright mess. Luckily the Phillies still have a couple of guys who know how to throw the baseball. If they lose this ability….Well, the Phillies are fucked. The Phillies pitchers have to (and most likely will) carry this team once again. On to the previews.

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Phillies Preview: The Lineup


Good to see you too Chuck

Well it is that time of year again.  The snow is melting, the birds are chirping, Spring is in the air.  The crack of the bat and the snap of the glove legitimately arouses me.  I literally found myself watching a Mets/Nationals spring training game on TV the other night (I was also drinking).  Baseball season means a lot to the scribes on this particular website and we are going to do our damnedest to give you the most accurate preview of the two main squads (Yanks & Phillies) we will be complaining about.  We may even let Joe write something about the Marlins (doubtful).  So without further ado, here is our Phillies Lineup Preview.

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Holy Shit It’s Almost Baseball Season: 5 Phillies Questions


So I haven’t written a word on this site since my tremendous Super Bowl Preview. While it may have been a greatly crafted article, my prediction was not so great. That post was done over a month ago and after some encouragement from Captain Dan  I realized it’s time to get back to work.

Last recap why I haven’t written anything:

– For the most part I spent all my time watching all five seasons of the Wire. If you haven’t watched it get the fuck on that. Amazingly good.

Oh shit it's Omar

– I slept.

– I drank.

– I drove to work and talked to people about how amazing the iPhone was for 9 hours a day.

– I tried to talk myself into believing the Sixers actually had a chance at making a run into the playoffs. Then I realized they’d have to beat the Heat and/or Bulls. Waste of my time.

Beaker. He's managed to make Sam Bowie look like the greatest #2 pick ever.

– Lastly I’ve watched the Devils (Yes, hockey is still a sport in this country). They’ve been good/bad/good/bad/good/good/bad/bad/good. I don’t know what the hell to expect from them, but I think they are kinda good.

Despite all this excitement in my amazing life, I’m looking forward to a month from now. Sure I’ll still sleep, drink, and talk about the iPhone, but Phillies baseball will finally be back. THANK YOU GOD. Sure I love watching the Sixers and sure I think the Devils are decent, but honestly life without baseball is very, very depressing.

I’ll jump right into the Phillies since I really don’t give a fuck any other team in the MLB.

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Phillies vs Cardinals (Quick preview because I’m too nervous/excited)


From day one of the 2011 season it was clear the Philadelphia Phillies were going to do something special this season. Winning 102 games. Cool. Winning the NL East with 12 games remaining? Damn. This has been a storybook season for the Phillies and their fans, but it will mean absolutely nothing if there isn’t a parade traveling down Broad Street come late October.

When was the last time the Phillies played a meaningful game? June? April? This whole season has felt like a preparation for October, including a lot of meaningless baseball. But these games now mean something. Gone are the games where you can have 15 beers, 3 schmitters, and two plates of Bull’s BBQ. Now I’ll be sitting on the edge of my seat having that near heart attack feeling for each game.

There isn’t much more to be said about this team. They all know what needs to be done. I still have the sight of fat Juan Uribe rounding the bases and Ryan Howard standing at home plate frozen after watching Brian Wilson’s cutter fly by him. But today those memories go away and it’s time to rip some tits. Let’s Fucking Go Phillies.

World Series..Scratch That…Regular Season Series Preview: Boston Red Sox vs. Philadelphia Phillies



Tuesday, June 28th – 7:05 pm
Josh Beckett (6-2, 1.86 ERA)
vs.
Cliff Lee (8-5, 2.87 ERA)

Wednesday, June 29th – 7:05 pm
John Lackey (5-6, 7.36 ERA)
vs.
Vance Worley (2-1, 2.83 ERA)

Thursday, June 30th – 1:05 pm
Jon Lester (9-4, 3.66 ERA)
vs.
Cole Hamels (9-4, 2.49 ERA)

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Series Preview: Oakland Athletics vs. Philadelphia Phillies


VS.

Friday, June 24th – 7:05pm
Vance Worley (2-1)
vs.
I don’t feel like looking up his first name because I’ll be honest, I’ve never heard of him….Moscoso (2-3)

Satuday, June 25th – 7:05pm
Cole Hamels (9-3)
vs.
Trevor Cahill (7-5)

Sunday, June 26th – 1:35pm
Roy Halladay (9-3)
vs.
Josh Outman (3-1)

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Tending the Rabbits


East Bound and Down with Lenny Dykstra

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 

Lenny, just tending the rabbits.

Chaw. Chewed up and spat out. Despite the psychopathic tenacity that characterized his days on the diamond, good old Nails has got to be feeling a lot like the tobacco juice that he used to drool about the dugout. Currently penned up in San Fernando, California after being picked up for leasing cars with phony business and credit card info and possession of a solid stash of cocaine, ecstasy, and HGH—the necessary ingredients for any good-timing shenanigans—this is Dykstra’s second run in with the law in as many months. In addition to the 25 state counts of fraud, identity theft, possession, and GTA, the former Philly star also faces federal charges relating to his 2009 bankruptcy (bankruptcy fraud, obstruction of justice, etc.) which depicts the Dude in over his head for about $31 mil.  Fuck.

With the extravagant sums of money he made playing baseball and as the seemingly successful car-wash magnate, all Lenny really had to do was tend the rabbits. But a dude that wound up just can’t get comfortable sitting still. Instead he ventured to test his luck as an entrepreneur, an investment analyst (even appearing on Mad Money, illustrating the extent to which Jim Kramer’s got his head shoved up his own ass), a publisher, and a real estate mogul. The disaster that ensued should have come as little surprise to any that followed his career on the field, and though tragic to a fan that idolized the manic slugger and drug-fueled all-star, it seems to be a simple case of destiny unbound—the ultimate culmination of baseball’s most colossal train-wreck.

The blind leading the blind.

(For a very prescient piece written about one of Dykstra’s crazed exploits at an Atlantic City Baccarat table before the ’93 season, please follow the link: “We’re On a Fucking Role, Dude”.)

Let me be clear. Lenny Dykstra, the man, the myth, the soon-to-be-convicted felon, was and will always be unequivocally my favorite baseball player on my favorite baseball team—the 1993 Philadelphia Phillies (Kruk, Philly H.O.F. interview on the ’93 Phillies)—of all time. I wore number 4 all throughout little league in the hope that I’d emulate his impassioned play, and would stuff entire packages of Big League Chew into my right cheek and spit shredded gum to emulate his reckless abandon—and because it looked Bad Ass. I was emotionally shattered over the baseball strike of ’94 and now, despite the large repository of evidence suggesting that Nails was always little more than a cheating, fraudulent bastard with unused and abused latent talent, I find myself seriously distressed over Dykstra’s demise.

However, I do find the whole situation laughably entertaining. It’s absolutely hilarious that anyone would take financial advice from, let alone enter into any sort of business arrangement with, a known lunatic with a propensity for hard drugs and burning through large stacks of cash with minimal regard for the consequential damage. I mean, he was the guy sitting next to Darryl Strawberry when he was on the Mets blowing lines on the back of bus (Yes, a bus. While all other teams surely had planes at this point, fuck the Mets. They get a bus.)Shit, he’d do key-bumps between innings just to keep limber—fired up and ready to ignite at any moment.

Dynamite on the field and hazardously explosive off of it, Dykstra’s antics (like smashing his Benz all loaded up on booze and benzos with Darren Daulton in the passenger seat following a John Kruk Bachelor Party) led many to gawk in awe, wondering how long the freak-show could possibly sustain itself. But as it turned out, Nails sort of spontaneously combusted and will now almost certainly be left to fizzle out in a jail cell.

Well, cocaine’s a hell of a drug and Lenny…he was a hell of a ball player.

Series Preview: Philadelphia Phillies vs. Seattle Mariners


I was going to title this article, True Life: Recap of the raping of a Marlin in Philadelphia, but I didn’t want to attract people interested in rape stories to 90on95.com….Why the weird logos? Well those are two MLS teams, the Philadelphia Union & Seattle Sounders (Major League Soccer, yes we have that here in the US of A). I searched Philadelphia vs. Seattle and this is what comes up. Not Phillies-Mariners, not Eagles-Seahawks, not Sixers-Super Sonics…oh wait…ouch, touchy subject Seattle, I apologize. But soccer is the first thing that comes up? Really America? I’m a little shocked and sadly I had to leave those boring soccer logos since I couldn’t find any cute Phillies-Mariners pictures.

Anyways, cheers to raping fish, let’s keep it going against the other “M” fish.

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Series Preview: Florida Marlins vs. Philadelphia Phillies


Another team that has been absolutely brutal lately? Check. Four game series against this brutal team? Check. Winning? Most likely a check.

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Series Preview: Los Angeles Dodgers vs. Philadelphia Phillies


The third place Los Angeles Dodgers come to Philadelphia to face the team with the best record in Major League Baseball…Still? Really? Even after losing 2/3 to the worst franchise in baseball? Well it’s cool, but what the hell is the rest of baseball doing, because the Phillies haven’t been doing anything well lately*.

*Except when God aka Roy Halladay pitches.

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