90 on 95

Sports, rumors, and humor from the Ben Franklin to the George Washington

Tag Archives: Colorado Avalanche

Monday Power Rankings

Great week of sports we just had guys. Chelsea FC doing the unthinkable, plenty of upsets in the charity tournament for the brain-destroying spring-centric disease, March Madness, and lot’s of hockey.

1. Semyon Varlamov

Lights out. That’s the best way to describe the play of Ninja Spider. 41 saves on St. Patricks Day at MSG? Unbelievable.  I was at that game and holy wow, some of those saves were mind bottling. Kid’s gotta whole lotta glove.

2. Walking Dead/East Bound and Down

I’ve been behind on the Walking Dead, pretty much since the end of the first half of the second season (ouch my head) when Rick shot that zombie kid. But apparently this second half has been balls and people are dying and zombies are eating brains and people are finding out clues about this whole infection. I don’t know, it’s just things started to get a little ridiculous, with plot holes (HOW DID SHANE AND THAT FAT GUY GET INTO THE SCHOOL!?!? DON’T GIVE ME A GOD DAMN JUMP CUT!) and the black guy is still called “T-Bone.” Then people go off and say “But no, this last episode, SAMURAI WIELDING ZOMBIE ASSASSIN!” Oh and here I was all worried that the series was getting too incredulous. Also, isn’t everyone a zombie assassin during the zombie apocalypse? I digress

What isn’t ridiculous is this season of East Bound and Down. From having hands down the best cold opens in television to the break through performance of Stevie Jankowski, this show is really having a strong final season. I hated seeing Shane go, but the reveal of a twin brother was classic stuff. I just really hope we get some Andy Daly back before series end. Also, Lily Tomlin is perfect for Kenny Powers mom.

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Sports Day, USA

This week has crazy potential for myself. Sort of like the New York Giants rolling into the playoffs, I’m firing on all cylinders. I had a gross week at work making money (I bartend, so I don’t actually make money. It would be dope to work at a Minting station.. Minting factory? I don’t know, to literally make money), and now I get to enjoy my two days off filled with sports sports SPORTS! This week will significantly decide the next month and a half of sports for myself, and whether you get Joe the Positive, Insightful Blogger, or Joe the Pessimistic, Downtrodden Blogger.

One Joe's medication is another Joe's celebration

It all starts today at 2:55 PM as my beloved Chelsea Blues take on Napoli in the second round of the the Champions League. It’s been a whirlwind season for the Blues, and as of right now they won’t qualify for the Tournament of Tournaments next year if they don’t pick up the points in their regular season, so today could be the last time they take on European competition for over a year. Napoli holds a 3-1 aggregate edge, but the Blues secured that all important away goal, so a 2-0 win at home and the good guys are on to the round of 8. If anyone in Fairfield County is reading this and lucky enough to have today off, I’ll be a Brennan’s Shebeen in Bridgeport, I’ll buy you a round.

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Thursday Power Rankings (3/8/2012)

Let’s ignore where I’ve been and let’s get to where I’m going!

1. Peyton Manning

While the big guy got royally screwed in my opinion by the Indianapolis Colts, he’s got to stay positive and remember that he’s the prettiest girl at the ball and every guy there wants to sleep with him. Especially Jake Roberts. Peyton hasn’t made a decision as to where he wants to play football next but the biggest attractions would be Miami, Arizona, Washington or Seattle.  I think it’ll be a go for Miami (that sound you just heard was TimmyP’s dick exploding) but with this guy you never know. I know money rules all but I think Peyton Manning wants to win, and Miami may not be the best place for that. I just can’t wait till next year when Andrew Luck is throwing passes out of bounds as the Colts stumble towards another lottery pick. Hope you guys enjoyed the top while you were up there.

2. Playoff Hockey

OOOOOHHHH BAAAAAABY. Things are really heating up in the Western Conference as 5 teams struggle for ultimately the last 2 spots (+ the Pacific Division winner). The Dallas Stars have become seemingly unbeatable, the San Jose Sharks are trolling everybody right now, Phoenix is still a hockey team and the LA Kings are doing there best to not make the playoffs. But the real story is the Colorado Avalanche. Arguably the winners of the trade deadline (Steve Downie and Jamie McGinn have instantly made impacts whereas TJ Galiardi is riding pine in San Jose, Winnick is basically invisible as well and Kyle Quincey plays hockey in Detroit) the Avs are clicking right now, winners of 5 of their past 7 and if it wasn’t for all those fucking teams winning ahead of them they’d be in the second season for sure. March is essentially a month of playoff hockey for all the teams I mentioned above. So if you’ve got the Center Ice Package or you stop by NBC Sports by accident and any of these teams are playing you may want to check it out.

3. Jeremy Lin

Just kidding. They really cooled off on that shit, huh?

The rest of the rankings, after the jump.  Read more of this post

Wednesday Power Rankings

The top ten things going on right now, as decided by me. Let’s try to make this weekly.

1. NBA Lockout

We’re almost 5 months into the NBA lockout, but there is good news for bucket heads: Both the owners and players reps are meeting today when they had originally schedule not to. Henry Abbot thinks that no news isn’t necessarily good news. I on the other hand hope that this process drags out until the cancellation of the season. Everyone laughed at me when the NHL season was canceled and belittled my most cherished sport. Well, whose laughing now! ::runs into secret office, laughs maniacally, plays soduku::

2. The Walking Dead

Who said this was going to be about sports? Not me baby. This season started off the way I had been secretly been hoping it would: getting rid of those annoying kids. There’s a recap of the episodes more awesome (RE: only important) parts at Warming Glow. I just wish they could have shot Carl without hurting that poor deer.

3. Beers in the Clubhouse

Jon Lester recently apologized for the whole “beer, fried chicken, and video games” in the club house thing. (By the way, in my new self help book “4 Days rest”, beer, fried chicken and video games are the three pillars of enlightenment.) Now there are reports of the players drinking in the dug out, which the team denies. I don’t see what the big deal is. It’s not like they were going to be called on to pitch in the game. If coach told me I wouldn’t be getting the ball tonight, you’d be hard pressed to find me within 100 feet of a pair of pants. (By the way Beers in the Clubhouse is a good, old guy band name.)

The rest of the rankings, after the jump.

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NHL 2011-12 Season Preview (WESTERN CONFERENCE)

Let’s hop right into this.

1. Los Angeles Kings: This team is going to kill this year. Anze Kopitar is going to have one hell of a season, and he will challenge Evgeni Malkin for the scoring title until the end of the season. Newly signed defenseman Drew Doughty has a lot to prove this season after he signed a pretty hefty contract a week ago. This is the type of team you don’t want to take a lot of penalties against.

Player to Watch: Jonathan Quick. Quick is a good goaltender, but hasn’t been able to elevate his game to the next level despite the team around him getting better these past few seasons. With back up Jonathan Bernier, who many believe has what it takes to be an elite goalie, pushing him, Quick could be out of a job should the Connecticut native slip up early in the season.

2. Vancouver Canucks: No Finals hangover for this team. Henrik and Daniel Sedin will continue to put fear into the eyes of goalies and people who suffer from Geminiphobia. Ryan Kesler will continue to make his case for “Best American Athlete You’ve Never Heard Of.” And then there’s those wacky green men to look forward to. What will they think of next? Hopefully constructive ways to not blow a 2-0 Cup Final lead.

Player to Watch: Cory Schneeder. This is a guy who, like Bernier, some believe is the better goaltender despite holding down the back up role. If anything happens to Bob Luongo, Schneider should transition in comfortably. Or maybe he makes his way to a new team before the deadline. New Jersey, perhaps?

The rest of the West, plus Stanley Cup Final predictions and Major Awards:

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So You’ve Decided To Buy A New Jersey (Pt. 2)

This is my five part series in how to buy a sports jersey. I didn’t plan for it to be a series, but like your Mom didn’t exactly plan for you, these things happen. Also, I’M BACK! Click here for Part 1

Rule #4: Beware the Hero

Your team has been in the gutter for a few seasons now. Ever since your perennial goalie/1st basemen/ point guard/ kicker left the team/retired/got arrested your team just hasn’t had the same identity, the same pizzaz, the same, chutzpah,  if I’m talking about Sandy Koufax. You keep telling yourself this season is going to be different, but you know it’s just going to be loss after loss, reviled by the critics as a team fading, trying to recapture it’s glory years. Then, like a Phoenix in what should of been a better version of X-Men 3, a hero emerges. Sometimes he’s a free agent signing, meant to just get your team above the salary cap and because the laws of the game say you need two goalies. Sometimes he’s a waiver wire pick up, who goes on to shake and/or bake your team to the playoffs. Months ago you were saying “Who is this guy?”, but now you’re calling him the next coming of Patrick Roy, something your old college roommate won’t let you forget. Without the hero, this would have been another lost season. You pick up his jersey after you complete your unsuccessful, but unwarranted and appreciated playoff run. You will forever immortalize him in the comic book that is your life.

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Old Man and the C

Chris Drury, the captain of the New York Rangers since 2008, will reportedly have the final year of his contract bought out by the club today. While I usually only comment on the Rags and Flyguys as part of my commitment to the blog and hockey, this one actually hits a little close to home.  I was lucky enough to attend the same high school as Drury, and my junior year history teacher was actually one of his line mates when they played puck together at Fairfield Prep (What’s up, Mr. Mauritz!). Drury was one of my favorite players on the 2001 Stanley Cup champion Colorado Avalanche squad and the fact that the Avs traded him in ’03 is still something that makes me cringe. That and the fact that neither Derek Morris, Jeff Shantz, or that other bum play for the Avs or even did anything successful while rocking the “A”.

Holding. Back. Tears

While this certainly isn’t the end of Chris’ career, it is clear that it is turning in a new direction. He is no longer the young, speedy center he was back when he was scoring clutch OT goals for the Avs and the Sabres. He’s lost a step sure, but with experience comes age. Any team would be lucky to have him as a third line center and he certainly would add the type of depth and leadership a Stanley Cup contender needs (Washington?).  He never quite gelled in New York, but I blame that more on the mismatched way Glen Sather puts together a roster than his lack of competitiveness. Chris reminds me of Steve Yzerman, in the regard that when he became older he traded his dazzling skill for confident leadership. Look for a team to scoop up Chris to a comfortable and cheap 2 year contract in the coming months. I’d love for it to be with the Avs, but with their depth at center (currently 3 studs deep, with 1 in the minors and who knows what the draft holds) I don’t see that as a possibility. But god damn would I love it if he came back. As always, my favorite Chris Drury moment.

(NOTE: You have to fast forward about 2 minutes into the clip for Drury’s moment, or you can watch the whole thing while longing for the old day like myself.)




The Daily Drive – 5/11/2011

The Daily Drive is a daily (duh) post of all the prominent things going on in the sports world we didn’t cover, and anything else we might want to share with you. Our apologies for being absent yesterday. Please, take this note from my parents.

-We start with somber news, as Ex-NBA player Robert “Tractor” Traylor was found dead today. Always a bummer.

-Also dead this morning? The Phillies chances in the NL East. After tonight’s matchup that pits Ricky No-No versus Stud Lee, with a Fish win, Florida will have Philadelphia right where we want them. In first place.

-The Phillies do have some good news however, as they should see players returning from injury soon.

-Not only did the New York Yankees beat the Kansas City Royals last night, but the highest payroll in baseball beat the lowest. Capitalism, fuck yeah!

-The New York Mets are a baseball team also, so here’s some news about them: A former clubhouse manager was indicted this morning after it has been found he stole some 2.3 million dollars worth of memorabilia from the team. And to think, all he had to do was offer Oliver Perez some empanadas and a tube of Queso and he could have had anything he wanted.

Marissa Miller, Chris Pronger’s Back, and Cinema’s finest sandwiches, after the jump. Read more of this post

Playoff Ruminations – 4/24/2011

It’s quite possibly one of the worst times to be in Atlantic City. Both the Flyers and the 76ers are alive in the playoffs, and the Phillies are killing it, per usual. Their fans are everywhere. It’s gross. Here’s some playoff thoughts I’ve been having.

Keep It Goin’ Louder part deux

After I wrote that OT column on… yup 4/20 (productivity!), there has been five straight days of games being decided in overtime, plus the day before. That’s the most since there were 7 straight days in the 2001 playoffs (hey who won the Cup that year?). Today was just another typical day of overtime hockey. While I didn’t get to see the Flyers stun the Sabres at home, I was able to see the game played between the Blackhawks and Canucks. Luongo benched after back to back poor performances, only to come into the game after Cory Schneider got hurt on a penalty shot. It was like a movie, penned by Vince Vaughn. Loungo played great in his limited time, but eventually was outmatched by the tenacity of Chicago’s offense. In my opinion, that’s a bad move on coach Alain Vigneault (and yeah, I spelled that correctly without looking it up.) Your starter is your starter is your starter. It’s that simple. Patrick Roy and David Aebischer didn’t win the Cup together. Martin Broduer and Chris Terreri didn’t win the Cup. That’s not how it happens. The severity of Schneider’s injury will be what determines the next starter, but in my opinion the fate of the Vancouver Canucks Stanley Cup run has been sealed.

It's like the deep dish style of the kiss of death

The Madhouse

If there is one place I want to see a hockey game, it’s in Chicago. Some people don’t like the crowd, citing that song from the Amsterdam commercial as annoying. I love it. It’s like the vuvuzela. Some didn’t like it, some did. It made me fucking wet. I’m sad that I will probably never get to watch a game with that sound ever again. But, at the same time, it’s really cool to have seen that. It’s like this special thing any sports fan can talk about together. We all heard that noise. That’s how I feel about the games in Chicago. Whether that stupid song annoys you, or invokes chills, it’s just cool to see. They aren’t going to do it forever. Take it in. Enjoy it. Pray to God it doesn’t become a mainstay at the games (I’m looking at you, Fenway.) It’s all apart of the game. Without the crowd, it’d be like playing soccer in Italy. And no one wants to do that.

Flyers pride, Leighton’s funeral, and my apology to God, after the jump. Read more of this post

The Daily Drive – April 12, 2011

The Daily Drive is a daily (duh) post of all the prominent things going on in the sports world we didn’t cover, and anything else we might want to share with you. Like this free iPad!!! All you have to do is fill out this quick survey.

– A sad afternoon for my Blues, as Chelsea FC was defeated 2-1 by Manchester United. Wayne Rooney and the Reds move on to the Champions League Semifinals along with Barcelona.

The New York Rangers are going to be facing Michal Neuvirth, winner of 5 out of his last 6, to start the NHL Playoffs. Meanwhile, the Rags will be opening up the season in Sweden. Lucky bastards.

-While the Philadelphia Phillies ace’s, plus Joe Blanton, get all the press, it’s the bullpen that is quietly carrying the team.

– When Tom Brady cried on SportsCenter over the weekend, a lot of people probably figured that there was no way he could look like more of a pussy. Via Tauntr.com, the Internet again proves it can grant wishes. EDIT:  I couldn’t get the video to work, so click on the link. My apologies, so here is a picture of the hottest girl you’ve seen today.

After the jump we’ve got NHL Draft Lottery excitement, Derek Jeter’s poor start, and my new girlfriend.

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