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NFL Picks: Divisional Round

Last Week: 2-2

Sooooooooo here’s all you need to know from the first round of the playoffs………the Falcons suck, the Texans-Bengals game was the most boring game I’ve ever seen (until the National Championship game of course), the Saints enjoy scoring as many points as possible and the most important thing, Tim Tebow is in fact Jesus Christ himself.

New Orleans (-3.5) San Francisco

When the lines first came out this week I looked at this one said haha Saints and moved on. Then I started to look into it a little bit more.  A lot of things point to the 49ers in this one. They play good defense, manage games well, and most importantly get to play the Saints at home. If this game was in New Orleans the Saints would be 8, maybe 9 point favorites. Take the Saints out of the SuperDome, I mean Mercedes-Benz Superdome or whatever the hell they are calling it and they are a very, very different team. The Saints went 5-3 on the road this year including loses to the Rams and Bucs, two of the worst teams in the league. The 49ers meanwhile went 7-1 at home losing only a heartbreaker to the Cowboys all the way back in week 2.

I doubt anyone read all that (I know we have been out of college a while so I wouldn’t expect anyone to be able to read more than 2 sentences anymore) but I’ve kind of managed to talk myself into the Niners. The Saints are realllllllllly good but on the road they scare me. Sure Alex Smith is playing QB and sure they have a rookie head coach, but I think their defense will step up and control the pass happy Saints.

I meant to somehow incorporate this picture...It's just too good.

49ers 23 Saints 20

Rest of my picks after the jump

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NFL Picks: Week 9

Is football almost over? My team sucks. I suck at picking. My fantasy teams? Yup they all fucking suck. In my eyes football is dead to me. I’m just going to start betting a lot, losing a lot, and hating football even more. Here’s the worst picks you’ll see all week.

Week 8
Straight up: 9-4
Spread: 6-7

Straight up: 82-34
Spread: 57-53-7

San Francisco (-3.5) Washington

Can San Francisco play a real team? Every week I want to bet against them, but they keep getting to play shitty teams. Granted they did beat the Lions and Eagles, but besides that it has been easy west coasting for the Niners. But wait this week they are facing John Beck! John Beck is a stud! Can I fly to Vegas and bet a bagillion dollars that he throws under 1.5 TD’s? 49ers 36 Redskins 13

NY Jets (+2) Buffalo

Love the Jets here. Wait, did I really just say that? Once again, fuck you football. Jets 20 Bills 17

Seattle (+11.5) Dallas

I thought the Cowboys were going to win last week……hahahahahhaaha. If they fuck this one up they are on the infamous “I’ll never pick them again” list. Cowboys 23 Seahawks 7

Miami (+4) Kansas City

Tremendous #suckforluck effort last week boys. Keep it up. Chiefs 27 Dolphins 10

Tampa Bay (+8.5) New Orleans

Well New Orleans I didn’t know Steven Jackson was going to go all SJax circa a couple years ago on you guys. Back when he was on my fantasy team like 3 years ago I also thought he looked/played like this man from Lord of the Rings.

I thought that man was dead, but he reappeared against the Saints and made me feel like a retard. Thanks Orc. Saints 24 Bucs 13

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