NFL Picks: Week 9

Is football almost over? My team sucks. I suck at picking. My fantasy teams? Yup they all fucking suck. In my eyes football is dead to me. I’m just going to start betting a lot, losing a lot, and hating football even more. Here’s the worst picks you’ll see all week.

Week 8
Straight up: 9-4
Spread: 6-7

Season
Straight up: 82-34
Spread: 57-53-7

San Francisco (-3.5) Washington

Can San Francisco play a real team? Every week I want to bet against them, but they keep getting to play shitty teams. Granted they did beat the Lions and Eagles, but besides that it has been easy west coasting for the Niners. But wait this week they are facing John Beck! John Beck is a stud! Can I fly to Vegas and bet a bagillion dollars that he throws under 1.5 TD’s? 49ers 36 Redskins 13

NY Jets (+2) Buffalo

Love the Jets here. Wait, did I really just say that? Once again, fuck you football. Jets 20 Bills 17

Seattle (+11.5) Dallas

I thought the Cowboys were going to win last week……hahahahahhaaha. If they fuck this one up they are on the infamous “I’ll never pick them again” list. Cowboys 23 Seahawks 7

Miami (+4) Kansas City

Tremendous #suckforluck effort last week boys. Keep it up. Chiefs 27 Dolphins 10

Tampa Bay (+8.5) New Orleans

Well New Orleans I didn’t know Steven Jackson was going to go all SJax circa a couple years ago on you guys. Back when he was on my fantasy team like 3 years ago I also thought he looked/played like this man from Lord of the Rings.

I thought that man was dead, but he reappeared against the Saints and made me feel like a retard. Thanks Orc. Saints 24 Bucs 13

But He Can’t End the Lockout

Kansas City Chiefs Tight End Lenoard Pope saved a kid from drowning over the weekend. Really.

The Chiefs’ backup tight end on Saturday saved the son of a longtime friend from drowning in his hometown of Americus, Ga.

“My heart dropped. It could have been any child … I just knew I had to do something,” Pope said in an interview with “ESPN First Take” on Tuesday. “I wasn’t waiting on anyone else … to try to pull him out. I just felt because I have kids of my own I would want someone to do that for my kids, also.” (via ESPN)

When asked for comment my dad, a Chiefs fan, responded, “yeah, well he’s still no Tony Gonzalez.”

Pope seen here doing yet another thing you can't do.

That’s pretty awesome stuff. A lot of NFL players find their way into the news in the most unsavory ways, so it is always refreshing to have a feel good story come out. Guy even jumped into the pool with his cell phone in his pocket. BOOM! Hero’ed. I don’t even like to sit in a comfortable chair with my iPod and phone in my pocket cause they stab my leg. I’m sure you’re asking yourself, “but surely Joe, this could have been avoided, right?” Well, go put some pants on and we’ll finish this story.

You’re not going to believe this quote, after the jump.