90 on 95

Sports, rumors, and humor from the Ben Franklin to the George Washington

Tag Archives: MLB

Phillies Preview: The Pitchers

Wow how did I miss this gem???????

Glad I got the pitchers this year because the Phillies hitting right now is a downright mess. Luckily the Phillies still have a couple of guys who know how to throw the baseball. If they lose this ability….Well, the Phillies are fucked. The Phillies pitchers have to (and most likely will) carry this team once again. On to the previews.

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Thursday Power Rankings (3/8/2012)

Let’s ignore where I’ve been and let’s get to where I’m going!

1. Peyton Manning

While the big guy got royally screwed in my opinion by the Indianapolis Colts, he’s got to stay positive and remember that he’s the prettiest girl at the ball and every guy there wants to sleep with him. Especially Jake Roberts. Peyton hasn’t made a decision as to where he wants to play football next but the biggest attractions would be Miami, Arizona, Washington or Seattle.  I think it’ll be a go for Miami (that sound you just heard was TimmyP’s dick exploding) but with this guy you never know. I know money rules all but I think Peyton Manning wants to win, and Miami may not be the best place for that. I just can’t wait till next year when Andrew Luck is throwing passes out of bounds as the Colts stumble towards another lottery pick. Hope you guys enjoyed the top while you were up there.

2. Playoff Hockey

OOOOOHHHH BAAAAAABY. Things are really heating up in the Western Conference as 5 teams struggle for ultimately the last 2 spots (+ the Pacific Division winner). The Dallas Stars have become seemingly unbeatable, the San Jose Sharks are trolling everybody right now, Phoenix is still a hockey team and the LA Kings are doing there best to not make the playoffs. But the real story is the Colorado Avalanche. Arguably the winners of the trade deadline (Steve Downie and Jamie McGinn have instantly made impacts whereas TJ Galiardi is riding pine in San Jose, Winnick is basically invisible as well and Kyle Quincey plays hockey in Detroit) the Avs are clicking right now, winners of 5 of their past 7 and if it wasn’t for all those fucking teams winning ahead of them they’d be in the second season for sure. March is essentially a month of playoff hockey for all the teams I mentioned above. So if you’ve got the Center Ice Package or you stop by NBC Sports by accident and any of these teams are playing you may want to check it out.

3. Jeremy Lin

Just kidding. They really cooled off on that shit, huh?

The rest of the rankings, after the jump.  Read more of this post

Holy Shit It’s Almost Baseball Season: 5 Phillies Questions

So I haven’t written a word on this site since my tremendous Super Bowl Preview. While it may have been a greatly crafted article, my prediction was not so great. That post was done over a month ago and after some encouragement from Captain Dan  I realized it’s time to get back to work.

Last recap why I haven’t written anything:

– For the most part I spent all my time watching all five seasons of the Wire. If you haven’t watched it get the fuck on that. Amazingly good.

Oh shit it's Omar

– I slept.

– I drank.

– I drove to work and talked to people about how amazing the iPhone was for 9 hours a day.

– I tried to talk myself into believing the Sixers actually had a chance at making a run into the playoffs. Then I realized they’d have to beat the Heat and/or Bulls. Waste of my time.

Beaker. He's managed to make Sam Bowie look like the greatest #2 pick ever.

– Lastly I’ve watched the Devils (Yes, hockey is still a sport in this country). They’ve been good/bad/good/bad/good/good/bad/bad/good. I don’t know what the hell to expect from them, but I think they are kinda good.

Despite all this excitement in my amazing life, I’m looking forward to a month from now. Sure I’ll still sleep, drink, and talk about the iPhone, but Phillies baseball will finally be back. THANK YOU GOD. Sure I love watching the Sixers and sure I think the Devils are decent, but honestly life without baseball is very, very depressing.

I’ll jump right into the Phillies since I really don’t give a fuck any other team in the MLB.

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Thursday Power Rankings

1. Occupy Wall Street

Say what you will about the demonstrations, but this shit is getting ridiculous. The other night the NYPD acted like a Cobra splinter group and shut down the protests in Zuccotti Park over night while the media slept. Now the protesters are finally taking to the streets en masse, and are hoping to march across the Brooklyn Bridge. This is your chance cops! Blow the bridge when they reach Brooklyn and we’ll be rid of all the protesters and hipsters!

2. Jonathon Papelbon

Signed by the Phillies this past week, Jonathon Papelbon met with the media for the first time in (red) pinstripes. He spoke little of his time with the Red Sox, instead focusing his attention to his upcoming tenure with the Phils. The only way I could hate the Phillies any more would be if they were to trade for Chipper Jones. This team is going to be good this year.  Like, make it past the first round of the playoffs good.


The MLB, always the most resilient league when it comes to rule changes, will be expanding it’s number of playoffs teams from 8 to 10, by adding a wild card team to each League. Aww, I’m sure that has nothing to do with both the very popular (and very marketable) Boston Red Sox and Atlanta Braves narrowly missing the postseason this year in favor of the niche teams (RE: unmarketable) Tampa Bay Rays and St. Louis Cardinals. No, nothing at all.

music, the Rags, and an awesome dress, after the jump. Read more of this post

Phillies vs Cardinals (Quick preview because I’m too nervous/excited)

From day one of the 2011 season it was clear the Philadelphia Phillies were going to do something special this season. Winning 102 games. Cool. Winning the NL East with 12 games remaining? Damn. This has been a storybook season for the Phillies and their fans, but it will mean absolutely nothing if there isn’t a parade traveling down Broad Street come late October.

When was the last time the Phillies played a meaningful game? June? April? This whole season has felt like a preparation for October, including a lot of meaningless baseball. But these games now mean something. Gone are the games where you can have 15 beers, 3 schmitters, and two plates of Bull’s BBQ. Now I’ll be sitting on the edge of my seat having that near heart attack feeling for each game.

There isn’t much more to be said about this team. They all know what needs to be done. I still have the sight of fat Juan Uribe rounding the bases and Ryan Howard standing at home plate frozen after watching Brian Wilson’s cutter fly by him. But today those memories go away and it’s time to rip some tits. Let’s Fucking Go Phillies.

BREAKING: Umpires Are Human

Hellen Keller is rolling over in her grave

There’s a few things I love about baseball. Number one though is that for a sport that doesn’t have a set timer, it is the most precise game of the big 4 (NHL, NFL, MLB and NASCAR, right?). Other sports contain moments of controlled chaos, such as breakaways or a big 3rd down interception. Baseball just chugs away like a train in 1940 Italy, always where it should be. The right fielder is always in his spot, the 5 hitter always follows number 4 and Chipper Jones always looks like the worlds worst dad. Of course their can’t be beauty without some ugly.

Lugo took on Scott Proctor‘s grounder to third baseman Pedro Alvarez, whose throw to catcher Michael McKenry easily beat Lugo to the plate. Lugo tried to avoid McKenry’s tag with a pop-up slide. Replays indicated McKenry made the tag, but home plate umpire Jerry Meals called Lugo safe. (via)

Now, if you watch the video, or if you just look at the picture above, you can clearly tell that not only was Lugo tagged out, but it’s quite obvious that Jerry Meals isn’t so sure what home plate looks like. But then again, this is baseball, and this is the kind of shit that happens in baseball. This is the controlled chaos of the game. For all the accuracy, and all the stats and book keeping and VORPs (Value Over Replacement Player)  and OBPs (On Base Percentage) and HDLFTs (Hot Dogs Lost From Tripping), it only makes sense that something in the game is not only imperfect, but completely unreliable. Humans fuck shit up all the time, just ask the Germans. (That’s two WWII references, matching a personal best.) It’s our right to error that makes us the beautiful creatures we are. That, and the sound we make when we can’t get a popcorn kernel off the back of our mouth. So it’s only obvious that we will accept this for what it is, and move on right?



Hyperbole, after the jump. Read more of this post

World Series..Scratch That…Regular Season Series Preview: Boston Red Sox vs. Philadelphia Phillies

Tuesday, June 28th – 7:05 pm
Josh Beckett (6-2, 1.86 ERA)
Cliff Lee (8-5, 2.87 ERA)

Wednesday, June 29th – 7:05 pm
John Lackey (5-6, 7.36 ERA)
Vance Worley (2-1, 2.83 ERA)

Thursday, June 30th – 1:05 pm
Jon Lester (9-4, 3.66 ERA)
Cole Hamels (9-4, 2.49 ERA)

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Series Preview: Oakland Athletics vs. Philadelphia Phillies


Friday, June 24th – 7:05pm
Vance Worley (2-1)
I don’t feel like looking up his first name because I’ll be honest, I’ve never heard of him….Moscoso (2-3)

Satuday, June 25th – 7:05pm
Cole Hamels (9-3)
Trevor Cahill (7-5)

Sunday, June 26th – 1:35pm
Roy Halladay (9-3)
Josh Outman (3-1)

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Series Preview: Philadelphia Phillies vs. Seattle Mariners

I was going to title this article, True Life: Recap of the raping of a Marlin in Philadelphia, but I didn’t want to attract people interested in rape stories to 90on95.com….Why the weird logos? Well those are two MLS teams, the Philadelphia Union & Seattle Sounders (Major League Soccer, yes we have that here in the US of A). I searched Philadelphia vs. Seattle and this is what comes up. Not Phillies-Mariners, not Eagles-Seahawks, not Sixers-Super Sonics…oh wait…ouch, touchy subject Seattle, I apologize. But soccer is the first thing that comes up? Really America? I’m a little shocked and sadly I had to leave those boring soccer logos since I couldn’t find any cute Phillies-Mariners pictures.

Anyways, cheers to raping fish, let’s keep it going against the other “M” fish.

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Series Preview: Florida Marlins vs. Philadelphia Phillies

Another team that has been absolutely brutal lately? Check. Four game series against this brutal team? Check. Winning? Most likely a check.

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