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Tag Archives: NFL spreads

NFL Picks: Divisional Round


Last Week: 2-2

Sooooooooo here’s all you need to know from the first round of the playoffs………the Falcons suck, the Texans-Bengals game was the most boring game I’ve ever seen (until the National Championship game of course), the Saints enjoy scoring as many points as possible and the most important thing, Tim Tebow is in fact Jesus Christ himself.

New Orleans (-3.5) San Francisco

When the lines first came out this week I looked at this one said haha Saints and moved on. Then I started to look into it a little bit more.  A lot of things point to the 49ers in this one. They play good defense, manage games well, and most importantly get to play the Saints at home. If this game was in New Orleans the Saints would be 8, maybe 9 point favorites. Take the Saints out of the SuperDome, I mean Mercedes-Benz Superdome or whatever the hell they are calling it and they are a very, very different team. The Saints went 5-3 on the road this year including loses to the Rams and Bucs, two of the worst teams in the league. The 49ers meanwhile went 7-1 at home losing only a heartbreaker to the Cowboys all the way back in week 2.

I doubt anyone read all that (I know we have been out of college a while so I wouldn’t expect anyone to be able to read more than 2 sentences anymore) but I’ve kind of managed to talk myself into the Niners. The Saints are realllllllllly good but on the road they scare me. Sure Alex Smith is playing QB and sure they have a rookie head coach, but I think their defense will step up and control the pass happy Saints.

I meant to somehow incorporate this picture...It's just too good.

49ers 23 Saints 20

Rest of my picks after the jump

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Special Edition Wild Card NFL Playoff Picks


I only have to pick four games??!?!?!? That’s candy. What makes the playoffs even better is that I don’t need to write something for stupid games like the Rams-Seahawks.

Sadly, my favorite team to make fun of isn’t in the playoffs. What happened NY Jets?!?!?!?!? I thought this was the year that it allllll was going to click. Not so much. Granted, my Dolphins sucked. I get it. Haha make fun of Tim. But honestly not too many people were on the Dolphins Super Bowl bandwagon to begin with, me included.

The Jets were different. Going into this season a lottttttta people I know talked a lotttttttt of shit about how great the Jets were going to be this season. I just don’t get why they did….Let’s recap this team:

This man is your head coach:

Wait no, that’s a Star Wars character.

Oh, there’s sexy Rexy. He’s really good at talking shit, and then not backing it up.

As I said ALL SEASON. THIS MAN IS YOUR QUARTERBACK:

And this is your “star” wide receiver who quit on your team midway through their most important game of the season.

Oh Jets fans. I love how miserable you all must feel right now. Your team has successfully reached complete implosion level. Congrats!

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NFL Picks: Week 15


Last Week
Straight up: 12-4
Spread: 9-7

Season
Straight up: 139-69
Spread: 102-97-9

Christmas season so these are gonna be quickies.

Jacksonville (+12.5) Atlanta

This game already happened so I have to get it right! For realsies I picked this one before the game. I promise. Scout’s honor. Falcons 31 Jags 14

Dallas (-7) Tampa Bay

Wait a tick. Tampa Bay just lost by 27 points to Jacksonville. Yes, Jacksonville. Cowboys 28 Bucs 16

Green Bay (-13.5) Kansas City

The Packers will go 16-0. Unless they get all gay and bench their starters. Which also will make Vegas/me implode. Packers 34 Chiefs 13

Carolina (+6) Houston

Come on. T.J. Yates cannot keep winning games. It defies everything I was brought up on. Panthers 24 Texans 21

Seattle (+3.5) Chicago

See above, replace Yates with Hanie. Seahawks 17 Bears 13

New Orleans (-7) Minnesota

Gayest picture of the 2011-12 NFL season award goes to…….

Saints 27 Vikings 18

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NFL Picks: Week 14


Last Week
Spread: 4-12
Straight up: 8-8

Season
Spread: 93-90-9
Straight up: 127-65

To the millions……thousands….hundreds…ok fine….12 people who read this site, I apologize. 4-12 isn’t a good week. If you bet my picks (which no one ever, ever should do) your probably continuing to realize I have no clue what I am doing. My bad. On the bright side, I’m pretty sure I can do better. Only 3-13, 2-14, 1-15, or the dreaded goose egg could be worse. I think I’ll do better this week. But then again I say that every week. Oh well.

Cleveland (+14) Pittsburgh

Who wouldn’t trust the Steelers. I mean honestly, who doesn’t trust a rapist quarterback???? If the Steelers still had this man kicking the ball then I’d be really confident in them. Steelers 34 Browns 11

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