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From Russia With Love: The 5 Best Things to Come Out of the NHL Lockout


KOVY CHECK

I woke up this morning feeling pretty depressed about year 7 of SEC football domination, but this headline brought me right back: Source: KHL Could Keep Kovalchuk. Three days into the return of the 2013 NHL season and the hated NJ Devils may not return their best player. This is probably wishful thinking right now- the NHL and the KHL have an internal agreement to release all NHL players from the KHL after ratification of the new CBA, but while most players are returning home, Kovalchuk played for his KHL team on Tuesday (yes, in the future).This will be interesting to follow, but it got me thinking: what other good things have come out of the Lockout?

As always, your unbiased, objective analysis:

The Five Best Things to Come from the NHL Lockout

Eli Stupid Face

This is how it felt watching the Giants this year

5- It’s Easier to Forget About the Giants Dropping a Steaming Turd on Each and Every Fan

Look, you can’t win every year unless you’re Lance Armstrong on steroids, but is it too much to ask you to not rip my heart out with a spoon? The season lacked luster, but it doesn’t feel like too long ago that the Giants had strong control of their own destiny. The NFL scheduling gods didn’t do us any favors towards the end of the year, and that’s no excuse, but mixed in with a little of Eli’s patented “pretend apathy,” and a nonexistent pass rush, it was the formula for a piss poor finish to the football season. A couple of great Super Bowl wins made it easy to forget the mind-numbing torture usually instituted by the Giants; this season helped us remember. At least the NHL is back to help us forget again. Let’s hope this doesn’t become a trend.

 

Referee Brothers moves to break up New York Knicks' Anthony and Boston Celtics' Garnett as they argue during their NBA basketball game in New York 4- The Knicks are Better than Decent

Now, there is your sports fan that likes, or even loves hockey (like me), and there is your rabid hockey fan who sleeps with his skates on and drinks ice shavings out of a Tim Horton’s cup (like Daftpuck); number 4 does not apply to the later. But to everyone else we realized something: we could survive without hockey. Yes, life is much better drinking Molsons and watching King Henrik win Vezinas, but with the Knicks rolling this season my world didn’t collapse. The season still hasn’t hit the All-Star Break, and the Knicks are 5-5 in their last ten games due to some growing and injury pains, so this would be higher on my list if it were April, but for right now I’ll take it. Amare seems to be accepting his reduced role- which is the key to whether the Knicks could be just good or actually become great. Melo is getting fired up and starting fights with old curmudgeons like KG. Its going to be fun to see how this season plays out.

3- Ilya Kovulchuk Wants to Stay Home and Marty Brodeur is Old

We already talked about Kovulchuk, but I’ll be damned if this isn’t the best news I’ve heard in a long time. I was already excited that Marty is so old- I mean come on, this has to be the year he starts sucking, right??? This just takes it to a whole ‘nother level. The Devils could go from Stanley Cup to missing the playoffs in under a year. It sucks when the Giants do it, but this will make up for it.

2- The NY Rangers Could Keep Their Young Core Together Ryan McDonagh Check NJ Devil

The debate over the NHL salary cap meant a lot more for the NY Rangers than for most other teams. If the owners got what they wanted the cap would have been around 60 million, but the players stood strong and got their number- 64.3 million. The Rangers already have almost 52 million of that committed, and with the remainder would be faced with the daunting task of resigning Derek Stepan and Ryan McDonagh without enough money. With an extra 4.3 million to play with, the Rangers might keep their core of young talent intact.

1- The Rangers are the Clear-cut Stanley Cup Favorites

They knocked on the door last year, but their smash-mouth style sputtered out towards the end of the year. This year gives us a 50 or 48 game season- either way short enough for Hank and his crew to bully their way to the Stanley Cup Championship. Plus, they added Rich Nash in the offseason, one of the game’s top ten scorers, without giving up too much (Anisimov was good but it’s called a trade, they couldn’t get him for free). The Rangers were so close last year, but their bruising style wore them out, plus they were just a few goals too short. A shorter season will keep Hank fresh for the playoffs, keep the defensemen blocking shots late into June, and the addition of Nash could be just enough to get a few more pucks in the back of the net. Thanks to the NHL Lockout were going to spend the end of June in the Canyon of Heroes.

 

 

 

 

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The Daily Drive “The Day The Earth Didnt Stand Still”


The Daily Drive is a daily (duh) post of all the prominent things going on in the sports world we didn’t cover, and anything else we might want to share with you.  Earthquakes are so 2010.

 

-So lets get this right out of the way.  An Earthquake hit Virgina today.  The world moved on.

 

-The NY Football Giants already depleted secondary lost yet another CB today.  After losing impact player Terrell Thomas last night to a torn ACL, they lost CB Brian Witherspoon to a torn ACL as well.  Somehow Papa Bear seems to think that this will not effect the Giants at all.  He won’t give me any facts to support this argument (or words on this site for that matter (Shots Fired Shots Fired!)), but he is deliriously confident in his team right now.

Cliff Lee, Big Willy Style, and an attractive female after the jump

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The Daily Drive 8/15/11


The Daily Drive is a daily (duh) post of all the prominent things going on in the sports world we didn’t cover, and anything else we might want to share with you.  Its cool Plaxico, we didn’t know who Mayor Bloomberg was either.

 

-Lets start things off with a bang this afternoon.  Mark Sanchez apparently wanted to fight Rex Ryan after almost being benched during last season.  I’m no PR genuis but this isnt exactly the approach I would have taken when being interviewed about the upcoming season.  Especially since Rex is a Fan of UFC.  His go to move?  You guessed it, The Ankle lock…gives him a close up view of his favorite body part.

 

-Osi Umenyiora apparently is tired of faking an injury and will start practicing for the New York VaGiants.  Giants are having an outstanding off-season by the way.  Kevin Boss, Steve Smith, Shaun O’Hara and Rich Seubert are all gone along with their top draft pick Prince Amukamara who is out for a few months with a broken foot.  When i asked our resident Giants Fan, Bruno, what he thought of the activity he left me with this gem “YEAH WELL WE HAVE THREE SUPERBOWLS!”  Denial is an awful thing.

 

-Jeremy Maclin apparently isn’t dieing and will give an update on his overall health tomorrow at some point.  One has to wonder though about all the lost weight and secrecy.  Its OK Jeremy, Just tell them that the Nutri-System diet works great!

 

-Howard Eskin, 610 WIP sports radio afternoon host, has announced that he will be exploring some national offers and will not be doing his daily show anymore.  Good Riddence Howard, you insufferable prick.  I truly wish Charlie Manuel whooped your ass a few years ago.

Sidney Crosby, Big Ben and Halle Berry after the Jump

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Daily Drive 8/3/2011


The Daily Drive is a daily (duh) post of all the prominent things going on in the sports world we didn’t cover, and anything else we might want to share with you.  Like what my prediction for the Eagles is this year……..19-0

-AHHH the glory!  A-Rod apparently got wrapped up in that super rich guy group of dudes that like to play Poker together.  My hope is that A-rod ultimately gets a life-time ban.  If Pete Rose can’t bet on the ponies, A-Roid can play Texas Hold Em with Jason Bourne and Spiderman!

-Osi Umenyiora was just told by the NY football Giants that he is no longer allowed to seek a trade.  Jesus a man hasn’t been jerked around like this since Larry Craig was hangin out in Minneapolis Airport. HIIIYOOO!

-Casey Anthony was spotted walking around downtown Columbus rockin a Ohio State hat.  No word on if she tried to get a free tattoo for “taking care” of some things for the artist.

Sara Underwood, Hunter Pence and more after the jump

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Fly Eagles Fly


 

That is all.

Hey NY Giants….Osi Umenyiora doesnt like you very much


Come on Giants...All he wants is bitches....big booty bitches

Well well well, look at what we have here.  Just another case of Tom Coughlin and the rest of the NY Giants regime pissing off its best player.  First it was Tiki (scumbag), then it was Brandon Jacobs (neanderthal), Then Plaxico (Jail bait(but i hope the Eagles sign him….and yes i just double parenthesized, were breaking new literary ground)).  I don’t know if its the arrogant attitude of the organization, or the fact that they just don’t give a crap.  But wouldn’t it make sense to pay your best defensive end after he had 10.5 sacks and a shitload, i repeat, A SHITLOAD of forced fumbles?  I mean I’m not surprised in the least to be honest with you.  This is the same organization that rewarded dedicated season ticket holders like The Wildcard (father of Papa Bear) who spent thousands of dollars on season tickets for a couple decades, by charging him the price of a brand new BMW 335i…just for the right to PURCHASE season tickets.  He then would have had to pay the equivalent of a Elliot Spitzer level hooker just to go to the games.  I mean this is the organization that averted their eyes when LT (crackhead, statutory rapist, scumbag, best defensive player of all time) was blowing lines of his shoulder pads.  Its only a matter of time before they shit on Eli, but we all know hes too stupid to notice.  He is just going to show up one day to the practice facility and his key wont work.  He will just think that practice is canceled though and try again everyday for the next 3 years.  And the worst atrocity of all : they limited the tailgating hours at Giants home games to four hours.  FOUR HOURS!  HOW THE FUCK AM I GONNA FINISH THIS CASE OF SMIRNOFF ICE IN FOUR HOURS!

We dont fuck around in Philly

The Daily Drive – March 25th, 2011


The Daily Drive will be a daily (duh) post of all the prominent things going on in the sports world we didn’t cover, and anything else we might want to share with you. Like the power of the Lord. Do you mind if we come inside, we have an amazing book you need to read.

-Let’s get things out of the way early and say that I don’t really like phish. There are about 3-6 songs I genuinely enjoy, and 4 songs that are covers of Talking Head songs. Don’t take it personally phish phans.

The Hogs of war are nipping at the heels of the Flyers, writes Dave Isaac. Fine, whatever farm animal of war, Lana, shut up.

– The Sixers play the Heat tonight, in what could be a potential playoffs match up. I hope Philadelphia wears their “Los Seisers” jerseys.

– Pedro Martinez portrait was put in the Smithsonian National Portrait Gallery earlier today. No word on if it resembles this.

– You can say what you will about the Jersey Shore, but JWoww (the extra W is for “slut”) at least gives you something to look at.

Oh New Jersey, I'll never forget the tits.

– The Giants and Jets have began to follow other team’s and are not asking for a renewal on season-ticket packages until the labor stoppage ends. Which, if I had it my way, would be May 28th. Best. Memorial Day Weekend. Ever.

– Taiwan made an animation short about the NFL lockout because, well, why not. Those 12-year old lady boys have to do something with their hands.

-And, as promised, video proof of the existence of God. (via Filmdrunk.com)

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