90 on 95

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NFL Picks: Week 14


Last Week
Spread: 4-12
Straight up: 8-8

Season
Spread: 93-90-9
Straight up: 127-65

To the millions……thousands….hundreds…ok fine….12 people who read this site, I apologize. 4-12 isn’t a good week. If you bet my picks (which no one ever, ever should do) your probably continuing to realize I have no clue what I am doing. My bad. On the bright side, I’m pretty sure I can do better. Only 3-13, 2-14, 1-15, or the dreaded goose egg could be worse. I think I’ll do better this week. But then again I say that every week. Oh well.

Cleveland (+14) Pittsburgh

Who wouldn’t trust the Steelers. I mean honestly, who doesn’t trust a rapist quarterback???? If the Steelers still had this man kicking the ball then I’d be really confident in them. Steelers 34 Browns 11

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Turkey Day Picks


All I care about on Thanksgiving……

Eating an insane amount of food.

Drinking a couple aka a lot of these puppies.

Obviously the best part of Thanksgiving is sleeping like a baby which usually happens about 40 minutes after finishing dinner. 10 Budweisers and 4 plates of stuffing/turkey make it physically impossible for me to stay awake. Okay I’m talking about my sleeping habits now so things are starting to go downhill, here’s the picks.

Last Week
Spread: 7-5-2
Straight up: 10-4

Season
Spread: 78-73-9
Straight up: 106-54

Green Bay (-6) Detroit

Last year the score of this game was 7-3. 10 points. Put your hands in front of your face, stretch out all your fingers and your two thumbs and that is the total amount of points they scored. If that happens again I’ll forever quit watching sports because that game just doesn’t make sense to me. My only explanation to the game last year is that Aaron Rodgers had a few too many Gin N Tonics and he was a touch hungover.  Packers 27 Lions 20

Miami (+7) Dallas

Heyyyyyyyy Dol-fans. So the Dolphins are all of a sudden a good team? I have a weird feeling the Dolphins are going to lose by 36 points this weekend since that’s what I’ve come to expect, but I also feel the Dolphins defense is finally back to where I thought it would be at the start of the season. They haven’t given up a touch down since October 30th. Granted, they played against Kansas City, Washington, and Buffalo, not exactly three power houses, but still, I’m intrigued by what’s going on. The Cowboys are horrific against the spread, but on Thanksgiving they are always good. The Cowboys always burn me and I’m sure they’ll manage to do so again. The bigger question is will Tim Parker make it to the end of the 3rd quarter? This game starts at 4:15 which is right around the time the Parker family sits down to dinner. If I don’t fall asleep somewhere around the 7 minute mark of the 3rd I’ll be amazed. Dolphins 21 Cowboys 13

San Francsico (+3) Baltimore

These teams are pretty much identical. They both are coached by guys named Harbaugh, they both rely on defense and being really careful on offense. The difference is that San Francisco always covers the spread. They are 9-0-1 ATS this season. That’s good. Real good. The only way they’ll lose this game is if Alex Smith blows up. So far he’s been great this season and hasn’t screwed up any games. Who knows when he will, but I think he’ll manage the game well against the Ray Lewis-less Ravens. If I were a betting man (which I am) this one has tight game written all over it. 49ers 20 Ravens 16

Happy Thanksgiving, bitches.

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