90 on 95

Sports, rumors, and humor from the Ben Franklin to the George Washington

Tag Archives: Peyton Manning

Saturday Quickie


Timmy P has not graced this wonderful website with any NFL picks since the Super Bowl last year so I figured I’d throw some quick picks at you. Anyone that was looking for my wizard-like advice for this season I apologize. I really didn’t keep track of my record this year, but based on my account balance at betbigcity.com (Yes, that is a real place) I think my record this year wasn’t pretty. Here’s some picks.

DENVER (-9) Baltimore

New England versus Denver next week will be a real treat. Unfortunately there are two really mediocre teams standing in the way of this dream matchup. Baltimore has the “our best player in franchise history is retiring as soon as we lose” factor going for them, but they also have this man leading their offensive charge.

Ray Lewis is one of my favorite players to every play the game of football. He’s one of the best linebackers to ever play and an even better leader/motivational speaker. He probably has at least 34 offers from southern churches to become their next leader in prayer. The Ravens defense is much healthier than they were during their 34-17 beat down the Broncos handed them last month. In that matchup they had a third-string linebacker playing in place of Ray Lewis who was on the field for every single play against the Manning led offense. I’ll take Ray Lewis with a bionic arm over that guy. Editor note: Since I’m my own editor I guess it’s just a note: too lazy to look up guys name. if you really care do it on your own. Thanks.

The only other thing that scares me is the silly stat that Peyton Manning is 0-3 in the playoffs when the temperature dips below 35 degrees. Gay stat, I refuse to acknowledge it…..but if the Broncos lose I guess Peyton really does hate the cold.

I think Demaryius Thomas and New Jersey’s finest Knowshon Moreno are going to have big days and that Von Miller will have a minimum of 2 sacks. Peyton will break his stupid outdoor playoff losing streak and the Broncos will roll.

Broncos 30 Ravens 14

Packers – Niners after the jump

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Monday Power Rankings


Great week of sports we just had guys. Chelsea FC doing the unthinkable, plenty of upsets in the charity tournament for the brain-destroying spring-centric disease, March Madness, and lot’s of hockey.

1. Semyon Varlamov

Lights out. That’s the best way to describe the play of Ninja Spider. 41 saves on St. Patricks Day at MSG? Unbelievable.  I was at that game and holy wow, some of those saves were mind bottling. Kid’s gotta whole lotta glove.

2. Walking Dead/East Bound and Down

I’ve been behind on the Walking Dead, pretty much since the end of the first half of the second season (ouch my head) when Rick shot that zombie kid. But apparently this second half has been balls and people are dying and zombies are eating brains and people are finding out clues about this whole infection. I don’t know, it’s just things started to get a little ridiculous, with plot holes (HOW DID SHANE AND THAT FAT GUY GET INTO THE SCHOOL!?!? DON’T GIVE ME A GOD DAMN JUMP CUT!) and the black guy is still called “T-Bone.” Then people go off and say “But no, this last episode, SAMURAI WIELDING ZOMBIE ASSASSIN!” Oh and here I was all worried that the series was getting too incredulous. Also, isn’t everyone a zombie assassin during the zombie apocalypse? I digress

What isn’t ridiculous is this season of East Bound and Down. From having hands down the best cold opens in television to the break through performance of Stevie Jankowski, this show is really having a strong final season. I hated seeing Shane go, but the reveal of a twin brother was classic stuff. I just really hope we get some Andy Daly back before series end. Also, Lily Tomlin is perfect for Kenny Powers mom.

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Peyton Manning


Please baby Jesus make it happen. Dick exploding? That would ben an understatement Joseph Auger. I love football, but the Dolphins absolutely sucking the past 10 years has made me say, “fuck you football”. Of course I love gambling on it and fantasy football but the actual rooting for a team part of it? Eh. However, that lovely young (by that I mean old as hell) gentlemen in the blue up there would instantly make me fall in love with the Dolphins again. Does it matter that his neck has potential to explode at any point???? Of course not it’s Peyton Fucking Manning! Let’s look at who has played quarterback for the Dolphins since the great #13 retired. Warning: You will probably not remember any of these people because every single one of them ABSOLUTELY SUCKED when on the Dolphins.

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Thursday Power Rankings (3/8/2012)


Let’s ignore where I’ve been and let’s get to where I’m going!

1. Peyton Manning

While the big guy got royally screwed in my opinion by the Indianapolis Colts, he’s got to stay positive and remember that he’s the prettiest girl at the ball and every guy there wants to sleep with him. Especially Jake Roberts. Peyton hasn’t made a decision as to where he wants to play football next but the biggest attractions would be Miami, Arizona, Washington or Seattle.  I think it’ll be a go for Miami (that sound you just heard was TimmyP’s dick exploding) but with this guy you never know. I know money rules all but I think Peyton Manning wants to win, and Miami may not be the best place for that. I just can’t wait till next year when Andrew Luck is throwing passes out of bounds as the Colts stumble towards another lottery pick. Hope you guys enjoyed the top while you were up there.

2. Playoff Hockey

OOOOOHHHH BAAAAAABY. Things are really heating up in the Western Conference as 5 teams struggle for ultimately the last 2 spots (+ the Pacific Division winner). The Dallas Stars have become seemingly unbeatable, the San Jose Sharks are trolling everybody right now, Phoenix is still a hockey team and the LA Kings are doing there best to not make the playoffs. But the real story is the Colorado Avalanche. Arguably the winners of the trade deadline (Steve Downie and Jamie McGinn have instantly made impacts whereas TJ Galiardi is riding pine in San Jose, Winnick is basically invisible as well and Kyle Quincey plays hockey in Detroit) the Avs are clicking right now, winners of 5 of their past 7 and if it wasn’t for all those fucking teams winning ahead of them they’d be in the second season for sure. March is essentially a month of playoff hockey for all the teams I mentioned above. So if you’ve got the Center Ice Package or you stop by NBC Sports by accident and any of these teams are playing you may want to check it out.

3. Jeremy Lin

Just kidding. They really cooled off on that shit, huh?

The rest of the rankings, after the jump.  Read more of this post

NFL Picks: Week 13


Last Week
Straight up: 13-3
Spread: 11-5

Season
Straight up: 119-57
Spread: 89-78-9

Solid week 12 for the kid. I’ll take 11-5 any week. Sadly, most of my money ONCE AGAIN was on the New York fucking Jets. Sure they won, but they didn’t cover the spread so who cares!!!!!! Well, I kinda do since I had them in survivor, but anyway, could the scene below be the Jets???? Nick Nolte as Sexy Rexy and Tony as Mark?????? With all of Marky Mark’s terrible passes and their tremendous ability to never cover the spread I’m getting realllll sketched out at the New York Jets.

Video link since I’m too dumb to embed a video

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