90 on 95

Sports, rumors, and humor from the Ben Franklin to the George Washington

Tag Archives: Philadelphia Phillies

Phillies Preview: The Pitchers


Wow how did I miss this gem???????

Glad I got the pitchers this year because the Phillies hitting right now is a downright mess. Luckily the Phillies still have a couple of guys who know how to throw the baseball. If they lose this ability….Well, the Phillies are fucked. The Phillies pitchers have to (and most likely will) carry this team once again. On to the previews.

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The 2012 Florida Marlins: Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Bomb


Before this offseason, I was all but set to abandon my beloved Florida Marlins (from now on referred to as The Fish.) Another season of inexplicable mediocrity, untimely injuries, and WTF managing (I love me some Jack McKeon, but WTF) mixed with the complete identity change to the fabulously flamboyant Miami Marlins was more than enough to send me to the curb. Add in the fact that I am generally disintrested in baseball (NEEDS MOAR STEROIDS) and things were looking bleak for the following season, and I was all but ready to hand in my sabbatical papers. Then, almost over night, the Fish had me hooked.

Official baseball team of TomorrowLand

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Thursday Power Rankings


1. Occupy Wall Street

Say what you will about the demonstrations, but this shit is getting ridiculous. The other night the NYPD acted like a Cobra splinter group and shut down the protests in Zuccotti Park over night while the media slept. Now the protesters are finally taking to the streets en masse, and are hoping to march across the Brooklyn Bridge. This is your chance cops! Blow the bridge when they reach Brooklyn and we’ll be rid of all the protesters and hipsters!

2. Jonathon Papelbon

Signed by the Phillies this past week, Jonathon Papelbon met with the media for the first time in (red) pinstripes. He spoke little of his time with the Red Sox, instead focusing his attention to his upcoming tenure with the Phils. The only way I could hate the Phillies any more would be if they were to trade for Chipper Jones. This team is going to be good this year.  Like, make it past the first round of the playoffs good.

3. PLAYOFF BASEBALL!!!!

The MLB, always the most resilient league when it comes to rule changes, will be expanding it’s number of playoffs teams from 8 to 10, by adding a wild card team to each League. Aww, I’m sure that has nothing to do with both the very popular (and very marketable) Boston Red Sox and Atlanta Braves narrowly missing the postseason this year in favor of the niche teams (RE: unmarketable) Tampa Bay Rays and St. Louis Cardinals. No, nothing at all.

music, the Rags, and an awesome dress, after the jump. Read more of this post

Phillies vs Cardinals (Quick preview because I’m too nervous/excited)


From day one of the 2011 season it was clear the Philadelphia Phillies were going to do something special this season. Winning 102 games. Cool. Winning the NL East with 12 games remaining? Damn. This has been a storybook season for the Phillies and their fans, but it will mean absolutely nothing if there isn’t a parade traveling down Broad Street come late October.

When was the last time the Phillies played a meaningful game? June? April? This whole season has felt like a preparation for October, including a lot of meaningless baseball. But these games now mean something. Gone are the games where you can have 15 beers, 3 schmitters, and two plates of Bull’s BBQ. Now I’ll be sitting on the edge of my seat having that near heart attack feeling for each game.

There isn’t much more to be said about this team. They all know what needs to be done. I still have the sight of fat Juan Uribe rounding the bases and Ryan Howard standing at home plate frozen after watching Brian Wilson’s cutter fly by him. But today those memories go away and it’s time to rip some tits. Let’s Fucking Go Phillies.

The Daily Drive – 7/29/2011


The Daily Drive is a daily (duh) post of all the prominent things going on in the sports world we didn’t cover, and anything else we might want to share with you. Just got turned onto turntable.fm, and “SNL in the 90’s” on VH1 is only a half hour into it’s 2 hour run time. I may get distracted.

-To add some more opinions on the Hunter Pence to the Third Reich Philadelphia Phillies: They will overpay for him! They are the front runner for his services!

-Meanwhile, all quiet on the New York Yankees front when it comes to the rumor department. They did however activate Rafael Soriano from the DL. So look for him to cause problems and start giving up runs in no time.

-In U.S. soccer news, one day after the firing of  the men’s coach Bob Bradley (YAY!) comes the hiring of German national Juergen Klinsmann. This is a step in the right direction for the US. Now, if only we could get rid of that asshat Landon Donavon.

– Pittsburgh Steeler James Harrison is apologizing for remarks he made earlier this summer. If I know anything about Roger Goodell’s tenure as commissioner, it’s that he is easily swayed by a sincere apology.

Sports stuff, a cute girl and a video selected at a whim, after the jump. Read more of this post

The Daily Drive – 7/25/2011


The Daily Drive is a daily (duh) post of all the prominent things going on in the sports world we didn’t cover, and anything else we might want to share with you.The Drive is starting to run on a tight, meticulous schedule, and your fearless leader snagged the coveted Monday spot. Hungover at work traffic! Like your Mom’s period, expect my post to be fashionably late.

-The NFL is back. I’m sure this is the first any of you have heard of this.

-Carlos Beltran is expected to be traded sometime this week, and he say’s he’d much prefer an NL team over an AL team. The kicker? He doesn’t want to DH. I know, I thought he was from Puerto Rico too.

-Great piece by WithLeather on dick heads who steal foul balls from kids. In my opinion we should persecute them the same way they did treason in the old days: Hang ’em.

Phillies news, how Scott Stevens became a New Jersey Devil, and more, after the jump. Read more of this post

Roy Halladay Wants You To Turn On The AC


"It's just, it's hot out and there are gnats around the mound and I didn't even want to pitch tonight. " "It's OK Roy, you want me to get you a juice box" "::sniffle:: Can I have two juice boxes?" "Sure thing Roy. Sure thing, little buddy."

BREAKING NEWS OUT OF PHILADELHPIA: Roy Halladay has a mangina. Quickly Robin, to the block quote!

Roy Halladay made his first start since the all-star break Monday night, but he was Roy Halladay in name only.

The Phillies ace, a physical specimen who usually needs to be ripped from the mound with a tow hook (ED. NOTE: Jesus, he plays baseball for a living, calm down), left Monday night’s game with head athletic trainer Scott Sheridan at his side without recording an out in the fifth inning. (via)

I’m not going to sit here, and tell you it’s not hot, because baby I already promised you, it’s the truth from now on. Hell, I was at the Mets/Fish game last night and it got to be so hot at one point I had to hold a cold beer in each hand just to keep myself cool. But don’t take my word for it. Per CNN

 High temperature records were tied or broken Monday across the Midwest from Iowa to Indiana. Ankeny, Iowa, recorded a record high temperature of 102 degrees. Bluffton, Indiana, broke a 25-year-old record with a high temperature of 95 degrees, according to the National Weather Service.

The “dangerous” heat wave baking the central United States is expected to extend its reach eastward in the coming week, and ultimately cover most of the eastern part of the country, the National Weather Service said Monday.

That’s right, like a reverse manifest destiny, the heat will be attacking the East Coast by this weekend. Now, there’s a fantastic Lebron James joke in there somewhere, but fuck the NBA, am I right? ::Spins basketball on one finger, with other hand impregnates 6 different women over the course of 10 years:: As pitching coach Rich Dubee insists, this is not a big deal and Roy will be making his next scheduled start. However, most of the 10 year olds I’ve been talking to around the playground think it is a big deal, and that Roy Halladay is, and I quote, “A pussy.”

Relevant picture, after the jump. Read more of this post

About Last Night…..


My God...Is that Raul Ibanez's walk off music?!?!?

Last night was quite the game for the Phillies. Roy Halladay? Eh, average. But who cares when you have the 1-2-3 combo of Stutes, Bastardo, Perez? Juan Perez? Yeah he only used 9 pitches for the top of the tenth. He threw 9 strikes. And yup he had 3 strike outs. Insanely tremendous outing by the Phillies main lefty J.C. Romero….Scott Eyre….Mike Zagurski…..Juan Perez….I mean for real? Juan fucking Perez?

But the real hero is the old man…No not the great Jose Contreras, but the second oldest Phillie Raul Ibanez. He hit an absolute bomb on a 2-0 fastball from Scott Proctor to give the Phillies a 3-2 win over the Atlanta Braves. Proctor turned and watched the ball in flight  for a second then said “Shower time boys!” Rumor has it Chipper was the first in line. Yeah that’s a gay joke because I don’t Chipper at all. But props to Raul, let’s not let my hatred for Larry get in the way of Raul’s big hit. It’s been a struggle for the 39-year-old this season, but that bomb last night showed how he’s still got some juice (no pun intended) left in him.

It also shows how great a team the Phillies have. Sure I’m a homer and I love them and talk shit about every other team, but look at that picture. With the exception of Cole (top left corner) who looks like he’s talking on a cellphone, the entire team is going nuts for Raul. He’s a class act and you know the entire team has been pulling for him to come up big. Well, he did last night.

Cliff today, Cole tomorrow then the aces/two gimpy hitters pack their bags for Arizona and the All-Star break. Big games against the hard charging Braves, but last night was a big one.

Midseason Phillies Grades


After the Cliff Lee 8th inning implosion, the Phillies currently stand at 53-32 so I guess it’s a little past halfway, but regardless here’s the report card for the best team in baseball.

Jimmy Rollins: B+

– The 2007 version of Jimmy Rollins may be dead, but the 2011 version is okay in my book. He’s on pace for a little under a hundred runs and around 30 steals, which is great for any lead off hitter. J-Roll already has committed five errors, but his defensive range is still among the best in the league.

Placido Polanco: B+

– Polly made the All Star team, but it isn’t difficult at third base when your only competition is the 250-year-old Chipper Jones. Polanco was on fire early in the year hitting in the mid-300’s for about a month, then the baseball Gods stepped in and quickly lowered that average. He has also struggled lately hitting with runners in scoring position, but his defense is spectacular and as always he’s still a tremendous stunt double for Mr. Peanut.

 

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The Daily Drive – 6/30/2011


The Daily Drive is a daily (for lack of a better word) post of all the prominent things going on in the sports world we didn’t cover, and anything else we might want to share with you. Don’t expect any posts after Friday if Papa Bear doesn’t pay us. WE. DECLARE. LOCKOUT!

-As if my summer couldn’t get any better, the NBA and the NBAPA have not reached a labor agreement, and therefore will begin a lockout starting tomorrow. That sound you hear is Bill Simmons car running in the garage.

-Speaking of panic, Cole Hamels was injured in today’s loss to the Boston Red Sox. Good news for the Philadelphia Phillies: Brad Lidge has begun to make his way back to the mound. Also good for the Phils: You’re in the same division as the Florida Marlins, New York Mets and Washington Nationals. Ease up.

-Let’s just get all this Philadelphia talk out of the way early. Lot’s of talk about the Philadelphia Flyers thinking of presenting an offer sheet to Steven Stamkos. Puck Daddy breaks down all the likely scenarios. Spoiler Alert Flyer Faithful: He will resign in Tampa.

-Free Agency starts tomorrow for the NHL, and the Flyers could see some players leaving, such as Ville Leino (hopefully to the Avs.) One guy not on the market: Paul Kariya announced his retirement yesterday. Always one of my favorites in the early days of the NHL video game series.  (That link will bring you to a Canadian website. Act accordingly.)

New York Mets are on a roll, Derek Jeter is on his way back, and Charlie Sheen did steroids. Yawn. After the Jump. Read more of this post

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